Beauty Products for a Low Maintenance Girl

I don't mean that I'm hideous. I mean that I expend minimal effort on keeping up my appearance. I scrub my hair when necessary, and my hairstyle is engineered to be "wash-n-go." I bite off my fingernails, and we won't discuss the state of my feet. And while I can do a fairly decent makeup job on myself, most of the time I don't bother, because I just don't care enough to put effort into it. In short, I am seriously low-maintenance.

That being said, there are a few products I love so much that I would literally cry if they were ever taken off the market.

• Revlon Diamond Grip Slant Tip Tweezers

  I have the eyebrows that ate the universe. Left in their natural state, my eyebrows would start at one temple and continue straight across my face in a half-inch-thick line of black hair, unbroken, to the other temple. Think Bert. Think monobrow. Think eyebrow hair extending down below the bottom of my eyes. Yeah.

  Thankfully, a couple years ago, a cosmetologist took me under her wing and taught me how to tame the eye bushes. The job is made infinitely easier with these diamond tipped tweezers, which have a nice slant, a good sharp tip, and grip so hard that I have actually successfully tweezed blackheads with them.

• Revlon 10x Magnifying Mirror

  This is Part 2 of the Eyebrow Excavation Equipment. Once you have a pair of tweezers that enables you to grab every little hair two hours after its conception, you need a mirror that helps you see them well enough to tweeze them. Revlon's 10x mirror is lightweight, features suction cups on the back for hands-free operation, and best of all for someone whose purse is a backpack, thus far seems to be unbreakable.

• St. Ives Apricot Scrub

  Now that I have the aforementioned 10x magnifying mirror, I've started noticing the little dry flakes of skin that like to hang out in the creases by my nose, on my eyelids, and on my chin and forehead. The exfoliating scrub excises those little flakes by just rubbing. If you use this stuff, though, it's best to use it in the shower, because no matter how well you rinse in the sink, you'll never get all the little grains off your face, and you'll feel them when you apply my next favorite product, which is...

• Oil of Olay Sensitive Skin Moisturizer with SPF

  It's moisturizer! It's sunscreen! It's both! For years, I was wary of Oil of Olay, because my mom used it when I was growing up, and one time, on a whim, I applied a bit to my face. Not only did it smell like I'd walked through a perfume factory, it made my face so greasy I turned a napkin translucent by blotting my forehead with it.

  Apparently the formula has improved somewhat since the bottle that my mother purchased in the 1970's. The sensitive skin moisturizer is oil free, light, and unscented, and it soaks right into my skin within a few seconds of being applied. Plus, it feels divine when applied after the exfoliating scrub.

• Equate Gentle Face Cleanser

  On the rare occasions that I do apply makeup, I need something to remove it. I use a generic version of Cetaphil called Gentle Face Cleanser. It works as an effective makeup remover, and it contains moisturizer, so it doesn't leave me with the tight-cheeked feeling that most makeup removers do. Furthermore, because it's meant to act as a moisturizer, I don't have to rinse it off. I just wipe with cotton pads and let it leave a residue on my face, which really saves my bathroom counter from the inevitable splash mess that comes with products that require rinsing. Oh, and the best part about this one? A big bottle is less than $3 at Wal-Mart.

• FX Curls Up Mousse

  This stuff is the bomb diggity. It defines and separates my curls, and yet doesn't make them sticky or crunchy. Perfect for someone who wants nice curls, but wants them to look as natural as possible. I just work a handful of it through my hair when it's wet, shake my head, and go.

• Burt's Bees Beeswax Lip Balm

  Another tip from my cosmetologist friend: beeswax good, petroleum bad. Most lip balm is made from a petroleum base, and while it makes your lips feel good initially, in the long run it will dry them out. Burt's Bees is made from natural beeswax and plant oils, and does not dry lips out the way petroleum will. It lasts a long time on the lips, and the peppermint oil gives it a wonderful cooling effect when first applied.

  For some reason entirely unknown to me, the only place I can buy Burt's Bees in my hometown is Rural King. Since I rarely feel the need to purchase a few 50-lb sacks of seed with my lip balm, I don't venture out that way too often. Consequently, when I do find myself at an establishment that sells Burt's Bees, I tend to purchase it in large handfuls. This gets me some odd looks, but only from people who don't yet know about the love that is Burt's Bees.

• Burt's Bees Lip Shimmer

  Oh, the geniuses at Burt's Bees. I nearly broke down and cried for joy when I first discovered this product. Talk about having your lip balm and wearing it too! I used to apply a super-thin layer of Burt's before putting on lipstick, unwilling to go without Burt's even when I was getting dolled up. Now I can have my Burt's and my lipcolor in the same tube. It has all the best features of the original Burt's, including the rush of peppermint, and comes in cocoa, guava, papaya, toffee, coffee (my personal favorite), merlot, nutmeg, raisin, rhubarb, watermelon, and champagne.