Becoming a Stay at Home Mom

I always knew that when I had children I would want to stay home with them during those important formative years. I did not want to miss the first tooth, the first step, the first word, or any of those other precious "firsts" that I could never get back. I was not, however, prepared for how hard becoming a stay at home mom would be.

I was enjoying my career as a seventh grade reading teacher, but, after a particularly difficult day, I looked into the heavens and asked God to allow me to become pregnant so that I did not have to teach the next year. I quickly found out two things: God really does listen when I speak, and he has a great since of humor. Three weeks later, I found out that I was pregnant with my first child.

I worked through out my pregnancy until I hit nine months, then I went home for maternity leave. I spend my time dreaming of my sweet angel to be, and watching my favorite movies while sitting on my expanding backside. On June 2^nd, my angel was born. He was red, squirmy, and had a perfect cone head. It was love at first sight. After a few days in the hospital, we were home and I was beginning my new career as a stay at home mom.

I quickly learned that this was going to be the hardest job that I would ever have in my entire life. Maybe it was the two nights in a row when he did not sleep unless I was holding him, or the fact that it would take me an hour just to breastfeed him, but I began to dream of going back to work. To top it all off, I was lonely. The baby slept a lot those first few months, none of my friends had children at the time, and they all had jobs, so, I did not have an adult to talk to. I would call my husband at work many times throughout the course of the day, and I would actually be angry with him if he wasn't available.

People would tell me all the time how lucky I was that I could stay at home and do whatever I wanted to do (Obviously those people did not have children) and not have to work. The truth was, at times, I envied them. Being a social person, I craved interaction with adults, so I decided to do something about it. I found a mother and babies group that I could take my son to and meet other moms. I discovered that my church actually offered many programs throughout the day, with nursery provided. When we moved a little closers to family, I took advantage of my mother-in-law's offer to watch the baby for a few hours a week while I ran errands or met my husband and/or friends for the occasional lunch. I even took a few art classes at a local crafts store. Over time, I began to feel like myself again and not just "Luke's mom."

This being said, I've come up with some advice for women who are about to embark on the wonderful journey of being a stay at home mom.

1. Don't feel guilty if the house is not perfect. Children, especially babies, take up more time than you think.

2. Its ok to wish that you were back at work. This thought does not make you a bad mother, and you are not alone.

3. Take time for yourself. You'll be a better mommy if you do.

4. Get involved with something. Whether it's church, a mommy and me group, or an art class, you will need the social interaction with other adults.

5. Go on a date at least once a month. Don't get so involved with being a mother that you forget the person who helped you become a mother.

6. Life isn't perfect. Don't ever expect it to be.

7. Cherish every moment. It really does go by too fast.

I love being at home with my children. It was the right choice for my family. I know that we will always have a special bond because of all the time that we have spent together. All too soon, my oldest child will not want me to hug him in public or sit on my lap while I read him is favorite book. I dread those days, but, for now, I'm going to enjoy being the number one woman in his life. I know that I am going to look back on this time as some of the best days of my life because my children are so precious to me. I just had to learn how to balance being a mother and still be me.