Bedtime Fears

Bedtime fears are the most common fears experienced by young children. Generally, the child is scared of the dark. If your child is scared of the dark, you can consider him normal. Fear of the dark does begin to develop when children discover that they can get hurt or become harmed. When your child is alone and it is dark, that is a prime time for him to become afraid. It is your job as a parent to understand your child, reassure him and make him realize that they are not in danger when it is dark outside and time to go to bed.

If your child is afraid at bedtime, you can help her to overcome her fear. You want to reassure your child without reinforcing her fears and sometimes that can be difficult. Rather than ignoring her fears and hoping that she will forget them or outgrow them, help her deal with the problem. You do not want to reassure your child too much though, because you might make her think that there is something to be afraid of.

Ressuring your child is important. Talk with your child about how you deal with situations that are scary to you. Read stories about children who are afraid and learn how to conquer their fears. A good book for this is "There's A Monster In My Closet" by Maurice Sendak.

Some parents decide to use "monster spray". Simply take a spray-type bottle and fill it with water. Label the bottle with the words MONSTER SPRAY and allow your child to keep the water bottle beside of their bed, if they wish. At bedtime, you or your child can spray the room with the water to keep the monsters away. If your child gets scared during the night, encourage him to use the spray to make the monsters go away. However, some parents have found that this works against them. Children need to realize that there are no such things as monsters and using monster spray can make monsters seem real to young children. Other families have used other tactics that seem to work well for their children. Some parents tell their children that their pets are awake at night to make sure that no monsters come into the house. Encourage your child to sleep with a special stuffed animal or blanket that is comforting to them.

Consider using a reward chart for your child being brave and learning to deal with her fear of the dark. If she is brave and sleeps in her bed for the entire night, give her a star on a chart. Reward your child after she receives a set number of stars. The reward can be baking cookies, going to the park, getting a new toy or any other reward that shows your child you are proud of her. OF course, hugs and praise work wonders too!

Make sure that you set and enforce limits pertaining to bedtime fears. It is okay to help your child with his fears, but at a point, your child must learn to deal with his problems. Using monster spray, reading books, allowing a nightlight and other tactics are fine, but having your child sleep with you in your bed will become a habit that is hard to break. You should not have to stay in your child's room for him to fall asleep and you should not have to wake up several times a night to get your child back to sleep.