Before I Die List

What do want to do with the time you have on this planet?

Long before Tim McGraw's hit "Live Like You Were Dying" came out, I looked this question square in the eyes.

Twice.

It helped me as a person - and my job search efforts - and it may help you job search efforts, too.

Paul and I had worked together early in our careers and formed the kind of friendship that comes from sharing a common hell. We maintained - and built upon - that friendship long after escaping our lowly jobs. We helped each other move several times. We invited each other for dinner. He introduced me to the joy of running and I introduced him to my friends and family. We helped each other grow as people and as professionals. And we talked about what we'd do "some day."

Then, a friend we had in common called me with news I neither expected nor wanted. My friend Paul had suffered a major coronary while cooking.

I sobbed for nearly an hour after that phone call. Writing this (even years after his passing), I find it difficult to read the words I type through the clinging tears losing their hold on my eyes.

I had lost many relatives before Paul's passing, and while their deaths hit me hard, they were elderly and they seemed like the natural progression of things. Paul was my first fallen contemporary. He was young - in his early 40's - and in good shape. This seemed very unnatural.

Since he and I had told each other what we wanted to do before we died, I knew Paul hadn't started working on his "Gotta Do Before I Die List." A few days after his death, I wrote down my own list. But as time passed, so did my enthusiasm for checking off item.

A few years later, I met Diane. She joined my Toastmasters Club and, in her first speech (what we call "The Icebreaker"), she spoke of her battle with a rare lymph system cancer. She was diagnosed with Stage 1 when she was just 25 and underwent chemotherapy. At such an early age, this attractive woman suffered the severe side effects of the treatment - including the humiliation of hair loss.

She swore from that point onward, she would rely on holistic medicine for any further treatments. It worked. When I met her, she was in her early 30's and bouncing back from the ordeal. She was full of life and wore a welcoming, ingratiating smile. We shared food, an occasional movie and a deep love for garage sales. I helped her with her speeches and with her resumes. She helped me improve my recently acquired dour disposition. We'd chat on the phone several times per day to bounce ideas off each other and to share a laugh or two.

Then came another call with news I neither expected nor wanted. It was Diane. She told me she was no longer in remission and had just been diagnosed with Stage 3. Though it was by phone, I could tell she wasn't wearing her trademark smile. I tried to pump her up but she would have none of my pep talk. Instead, she said she had fallen into despair and felt like giving up.

I wouldn't let her, nor would the many, many friends she had.

Shortly after that call, she decided to roll her sleeves up, put her smile back on and tough it out once again. And tough it out she did. She found the treatment she needed and today, I am exceedingly happy to say she is doing quite well. And for Diane, "some day" is everyday.

Diane 2, cancer 0.

Having lost my first contemporary - and nearly my second - I became determined to accomplish things with the time I had left. If one friend could die and another almost die, then I knew the same could happen to me.

That's why I started my "Gotta Do Before I Die List." While it began upon news of Paul's demise, my efforts doubled (and went onto my Palm Pilot) upon news of Diane's illness. Oddly enough, it's helped shape me as a person and a professional.

What do I have on my list? It's an ongoing list. For instance, I wanted to have a piece I wrote studied by a college class, to run a marathon and nab a paid speaking gig. I've accomplished those (and many other) items. I still want to run 5K on The Great Wall of China, become a millionaire, sky dive and accomplish many other things. Some of them are quite outlandish (like winning Olympic Gold), while others are tame (winning a chili cook-off). My list keeps growing.

How does a "Gotta Do Before I Die List" help professionally? Every item checked off is a success. Success breeds success. And, since I'm not shy about mentioning my list if it comes up in conversation, I'm used to doubting looks - until I mention what I've already checked off. There's something about success that turns doubters into believers. Those who believe in others tend to view them - and talk about them - in a favorable light. Especially bosses.

This is a positive side effect of the list. The main reason is to cultivate success as a habit.

Do you have a "Gotta Do Before I Die List?" If not, take some time to develop one. Take the time to decide what you want to do with the time you have on this planet. Once you've checked things off your list, you'll begin adding more. You'll find success coming to you. You'll be happier and even more attractive to employers.

As your success grows, you'll add value to yourself as a person and a professional.

And, like me, you'll owe a debt - as a professional and as a person - to Paul and Diane.

IN A NUTSHELL: Develop a "Gotta Do Before I Die List" and success will come to you.