Before You Settle Down - 15 Things a Girl Should Do

I settled down early. I was pregnant and married my first "real" boyfriend the day after my high school graduation and we divorced eight years later. I have no regrets regarding my kids, but I learned over the next 14 years there were many things I needed to do before I was ready to settle down again.

Between the end of my marriage in 1991 and meeting the man of my dreams in 2005, I did everything on this list. After settling down with him, I know that accomplishing these things took away any yearnings of "I should have".

Graduate
You need an education. That high school diploma may be shunned by some as "not enough" but it will open more doors than a GED.

Break up with Your High School Boyfriend
Settling down with the only boy you've ever really dated doesn't give you much to compare.

Find Yourself
The key to being happy with my man is I was finally happy with myself before we met.

Get a Job
As a young wife who had only earned money by babysitting as a teen, I truly had no concept of budgeting and paying monthly bills.

Move Away from Home
It was years before I left Knox County. After traveling the country and living away from home for several years, I appreciate the good things it has to offer. We may not stay here forever, but I can truly compare the good and bad of any relocation.

Chase a Dream
What do you really want to do? If you settle down before attempting your dreams, you will always hold a trace of "what if".

Learn to Flirt
Flirtation is not the same as seduction. After you've settled down, remember those skills and continue to flirt with the man of your dreams - you will both appreciate it in the years to come.

Be Friends with a Guy
Shawn and I met in 2001 over a shared love of good beer. We've laughed until it hurts and cried to heal pain. The best part is after settling down with my man, they've become friends as well.

Expose Yourself
This isn't about catching beads on Bourbon Street. One of the reasons Shawn and I became such good friends was a late-night breakfast when I told him about a major weight I was carrying. He listened for hours, held my hand when I cried and I finally let go of my albatross.

Live Completely Alone
Living alone, I learned if I would be able to live with someone else. I realized the times I enjoyed being at home with him outweighed the nights I wanted to be alone.

Take a Road Trip Alone
Sure, a vacation with the girls can be fun. I took a work assignment in the Deep South and drove 14-hours alone. The uninterrupted thought time gave me the clarity I needed to make some decisions.

Tell Your Parents You Love Them
If you or your parents are holding resentments, it will be tough to be happy with someone else. Mom and I weren't getting along and she was right - I was a bonehead. Just before a major surgery in 1997, I said "I love you". Not a conversation has ended since that we haven't confirmed our love for each other.

Learn to Cook
As trite as it sounds, a life of fast-food dinners will get tiring. You don't need to be able to cook to settle down, but there truly is joy sharing the process of creating a basic human need together. Don't forget the candles!

Keep a Journal
Journaling doesn't have to be an everyday chore. I'd kept a diary off and on for years. When I was doing it regularly I could explore my thoughts on paper, even arguing with myself at times. Now that I've settled down, I share my thoughts and dreams with my man.

Learn to Communicate
Communication isn't about good grammar. You have to be able to listen and debate effectively in order to have a healthy relationship.