Being the Change : Hashing Racism Out the Hard Way, Starting with Yourself

On a May Monday morning, about forty-two strangers piled into a classroom. Some were there for an exciting learning experience. Some were there for a quick three college credit hours. What they knew consisted of "working" lunches, public speaking, and that two-thirds of daylight would be gone by the time they walked out of the building. What they did not know, however, was how forty-five hours of simple communication would change their lives forever.

Admittedly, the subject matter of an interracial communication course did not fill me with excitement and anticipation. My preconceived notions of this course were typical. I was less than thrilled with the idea of being shamed for being white. I did not want to listen to how my ancestors may have enslaved someone else's ancestors. Really, what I did want was the hours for the class and a good grade.

I did not consider how this class could be a positive influence on how I choose to live my life. I was very caught up in what I "knew" everyone else was going to think, and I created an illusory reality to fit my prejudices. These prejudices, preconceived notions, and my closed minded attitude towards the subject of interracial communication had never come to my attention before the class. I realized that, while my prejudiced beliefs were not of an inferiority issue, they were still of a discriminatory nature. In my mind, a class that encouraged the discussion of such a sensitive subject was bound to fall into the mindset of political correctness and past persecution.

Fortunately, after only one day of listening, I began to see a distinct problem with my theories. What I heard from people of all colors was not what I expected. While there was definite recognition of a problem, never was there a finger pointed at me-just because I am white. Never was the consensus of the class one that made me feel as though I should be ashamed of my heritage. What my eyes were opened to was the vast similarity among the students in the group and more importantly, the power we had within ourselves to make a difference in our society.

Over the course of the week, my perceptions of racial issues were educated. Many conversations took place that had great impact on how I see myself and my interactions with others. I was amazed to hear a few black people speak about their own racist tendencies towards white people. My prejudiced thoughts towards black people involved the thinking that black people only think that white people are racist. I felt as though a black person would never admit to having prejudiced thoughts against a white person. Once I realized that we were all willing to admit our prejudices, I was able to open myself up to experiencing the class.

I developed a strong sensitivity towards being aware of the racist behaviors that occur in everyday situations. We discussed in depth the prejudices that occur in the restaurant business. I have been a server before and have noticed these instances. I now feel like it is important for me to discourage such discriminatory behavior. I know that my little attempt to change a small corner of the world may not fix all the problems. But, if I want to see a change, why not be the start of that change.

As the week went on, we were encouraged to "mix it up" and speak with someone who we had not met and was of a different race. I was impacted greatly with a conversation that I had with Romere. The interesting aspect of that particular conversation stemmed from the fact that we had a significant amount of similar interests. We also discovered that we had relatives that lived in the same suburb of Chicago. At first, my thoughts on the conversation were almost of guilty sadness. I knew that I never would have walked up to him, sat down next to him, or made an attempt to get to know him outside of this class. After all, I am a white female, he's a black male...what could we possibly have to discuss? Apparently, a lot. I made a friend that day, a friend that never would have existed before this class.

Even more interesting were the conversations that sparked outside of the class when friends of mine found out that I was taking it. From work, to my family, to my boyfriend, I had some very insightful, educational conversations. Many other people shared the same types of prejudices that I had before the class. I then had the opportunity to put some of those prejudices to rest. I was empowered to engage in such conversation in order to help others face up to the hidden biases that they have in their own hearts.

All in all, I would refer to this class as a liberating experience. We are too often afraid to ask honest questions, and we settle for assumptions instead. I truly believe that so much of the discrimination in our country could be expelled if we would welcome the open lines of communication between one another. Simply talking about the subject matter has brought me to a new realization and viewpoint. Instead of feeling like the issue is not my problem, I feel like maybe I can do something about it and make it better.

The most important lesson that I can take out of this class is to know that the class was only the beginning. The real test includes being an example, encouraging others to supersede tolerance into a state of acceptance and appreciation, and to give love to all of those I find around me...regardless of skin tone.

How, then, can I go about producing this change? I have come up with five steps to empowering myself and those around me to be the change that returns love to all people.

First, I must analyze fully my negative perceptions of those who are not like me and find the source of those perceptions. By doing so, in most cases I will find that my prejudices are rooted in unfair stereotypes. Only by being aware of my own perceptions can I fully begin to remold my attitude towards interracial communication. By admitting to my own prejudices, I will be more equipped to discuss them with others.

Secondly, I will do my best to be an active listener. In order to communicate, one must talk while the other listens. With a subject like interracial communication, too often, we want to force our opinion while refusing to hear out others. The listening process we used in class was referred to as ROPES. The letters are as follows: R for respect, O for openness, P for participation, E for escuchar (listen), and S for sensitivity. Without these important elements of communication, it is impossible to achieve change.

After recognizing personal prejudices and preparing myself to properly listen, identifying specific problems is the next step. Often, I find my friends conversing about people of other races in very discriminatory manners. Jokes, slurs, and hurtful comments are counteractive. Before this class, I may have permitted the conversation, even participated. With my new awareness and intelligence, I can try to use these conversations as an opportunity to open the lines of positive communication. Noticing these types of situations as opportunities for change is key.

Next, it is important to encourage others to be proactive as well. Conversations occurring within the confines of private homes can be productive. However, the attitude for change must be on a pay-it-forward system. It is also my prerogative to encourage others to incite such conversations with their other social circles. If this chain of communication continues, how many people could be affected? How exciting and encouraging is it to know that I could set off that chain of events?

Finally, and most importantly, I refer back to the old phrase, "practice what you preach." As we discussed in class, if you want a change, be the change. If I set an example to others, I can reinforce what I encourage others to do. By keeping my own prejudices in check and persistently working to diminish them, I can show others that it is possible to change.

As forty-two students walked out of a classroom Friday afternoon, they set out on a change that will take more than the rest of their lives. We knew we had to do something, but what that something was we had yet to find out.

Over the last thirty years, we have seen great evolution and improvement in the area of interracial communication. But the job is not done yet. We can work hard to change our attitudes, prejudices, and preconceived notions. But it is even more important for us to produce a generation of people who know no hate. It is imperative that we create an environment for our children where they can grow up with love for all people, regardless of color. It is necessary that, as an individual, a friend, a member of society, and an eventual mother, that I learn to judge people, as the great Martin Luther King, Jr. said, not by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character.