Being Comfortable with Disabled People

Do Disabled people make you uncomfortable? Are you not sure what to say when you meet a disabled person? Do you become preoccupied about "What not to say or do?" Well, here are some tips to help your interactions with disabled people be positive ones.

1. Introduce yourself. Even if you think that a blind person might know exactly who you are by the sound of your voice, it is polite to say "hello" and tell them who you are. Unless you are certain the person is deaf, please don't speak any louder or any slower than you speak with your other friends. Try to keep the apathy and baby talk out of your voice. We are disabled, not children. Some people don't even realize that they are doing it until a sarcastic disabled person retorts in the same type of childish language. Many blind people don't make eye contact and they might not know that you are talking to them until you are quite close to them or call their name: "Hi Amy, this is Joyce."

2. Interact directly with the disabled person. The disabled person is the authority on their disability, their desires and their life. It is demeaning for someone to ask an able-bodied companion, "What does she want," or "Why can't he walk?" Don't be afraid to ask, but by all means; don't whisper about the disabled person from across the room. Chances are that their disability is not deafness and even when it is, some deaf people can read lips.

3. Every Disabled person is different. While their disability might look like someone else's, everyone's capabilities are different. Don't assume that all disabled people or people with the same disability are the same. Even when people have the same disability, there are ranges of ability within that category. able to understand what you are saying. Their abilities and disabilities are just one small part of them. Additionally, don't assume that there are mental challenges that accompany the physical ones. We all have our own personalities and views that relate to our disability and beyond.

4. Dont be afraid to offer help. Certainly, you might encounter a grumpy disabled person. Don't you encounter grumpy nondisabled people? Why should the range of emotions and responses from disabled people be any different than able-bodied people? When offering help, don't assume that you know what the disabled person needs. You might ask,"How can I help?" or you might say,"If I can be of any help, I am at the help desk, which is immediately to your right." then, when the disabled person does ask for help, listen to what their needs are.

5. Neither the pit nor the pedestal is a desired place. In an effort to ignore the disability, I find that many people ignore the entire person or treat accommodations with apathy or little concern. Conversely, we, as disabled people, do not exist to be your inspiration. We have meaningful fulfilling lives: most of which does not center around our disability. We experience the same range of emotions as you do. Our lives are "normal" to us, even though it seems admirable that we still perform normal functions despite our disability. When you ignore the disability, you are minimizing the challenges that we face. But, when you see us as "amazing" you limit your expectations of us and we are still not seen as companions or equals.

6. Relax! As a blind person, people have been afraid to talk to me about television programs and movies because they might say: "Did you see .... ...?" Most of us are not that sensitive. In fact, because it is commonly used, we find that we use the same expressions as able-bodied people. "I was watching that movie." "I'm going to run to the store." "I can handle that." such phrases do not offend us. Some disabled people are quite humorous about their disability and some are not. Use caution when you tell a joke about their disability. It is better to wait until you know the person well to joke with them about such matters.

7. Each person has attributes, attitudes and interests that are unique especially to them. Thus, conversations do not need to center around their disability, accommodations for their disability and/or consequences of their disability. Don't stick to topics of disability. The disabled person is as complex as you are. Their disability does not preclude them from having specific interests, expertise in a variety of subjects and interesting experiences that do not relate to their disability. Disabled people are also teachers, parents, computer engineers, social workers, sailing enthusiasts... etc. We can enjoy a variety of activities such as: sports, music, exercise, children, writing, reading... etc. Don't be surprised to find us at restaurants enjoying the latest food trend, viewing the latest exhibit at an art gallery, laughing at the most ridiculous movie that has ever been in a theater, being a wine connoisseur at a wine tasting venue, at a dancehall learning a new dance, relaxing in a pub, attending a concert, campaigning for their favorite political candidate, at a bookstore signing, voicing opinions at a neighborhood meeting or many other normal places.

If you follow these guidelines, you will feel much more comfortable talking to someone who has a disability and they will feel more comfortable talking to you, as well. You might find that you have more in common than you previously thought.