Being Emotionally Abused

The damage was insidious. She didn't know when and where it started but she knew where she was. Lost and alone with no money and nowhere to go. Confused and afraid and cold. She sat in the middle of the night in the parking lot of her employer in her car with a knife and box cutter contemplating ending it all right there...but she could not. After all she was a Christian and knew that was not her answer but God had somehow deserted her and no matter how hard she prayed she could not find her savior. The parking lot was dark and she sat there turning the car on and off for the heat being very careful not to leave it on too long for fear that the gas would be all used up and then she would not be able to go in a hast in the morning when the employees starting coming in to start their day.

She kept asking herself when when when and how did she find herself here in this position? It was not too long ago that she had a safe house, with a bedroom full of all the comfort that personal things give, and a living room with a stereo television and cable and a computer....clothes in a closet and a shower with warm water....DESCISIONS...yes her decisions were what resulted in her predicament now. Bad decisions to trust HIM. Yeah he was going to marry her...then "well let's just live together awhile and see" to the mental abuse of her being in "HIS" house. A stranger to the man that she had known for almost 4 years. This was not the loving man that she had given her heart and soul to. This was a monster that drank continually and became mean and hateful and full of words that cut like a knife. How he hurt her over and over again with the things that he said...how she would never be able to forget and most importantly how what he did stole from her every ounce of self worth. The back and forth with all his promises when she told him she was leaving. How he pleaded with her and pledged his undying love. How he promised to Never DRINK AGAIN...then to get help for his drinking...his DUI's where she found herself in the middle of the night getting him out of jail. She remembered letting him have his way with her only to feel like a piece of garbage the next day.

But not last night. NO. She would not feel like a piece of garbage..she would leave and now here she was too ashamed to go to any family member for help. Too ashamed to look at herself in the mirror. And these feelings were very familiar. This was not a new place for her as just 4 years ago she had been sick! She had gotten help before and maybe she would be able to do it again...she would be able to recover her self-esteem once more. But NO..she couldn't because she deserved all this because of her decisions. NO I am a child of God she thought and I can overcome this and get help. He had made her give everything personal away. He had barricaded her from her closest support and loved ones. How could she get it back. After all she had really gone too far this time. The knife in her hand reminded her of what she thought would be the best. But the angel God sent to her insisted she stop. Get help my dear heart. God is with you and your support is still intact. Just go to it.

Then she fell asleep there in her car and her last thought was OK.....I will give my sister a call tomorrow.

Friends:
This is truth and I am not sure and do not know too much about alcoholism, but I do know that it almost destroyed my sister. It was for the grace of God that she was saved from this mental and emotional abuse. I nor my husband had any idea of what was going on until it was almost too late.
PLEASE if you are in this kind of relationship be it with a husband, wife, girlfriend, boyfriend you need to get help. Mental abusers have a knack for making others feel the responsibility of their irresponsibility's. They need and find someone to blame almost every time! There are many safe places for us all to be. Find a behavioral health hospital and go to it. Get close to your family and friends. And learn to identify with the toxic people in your life and rid yourself of them.

God loves you and will guide you with his angels of mercy through your blackest moments. Believe!!!