Being Heavy Can Be an Advantage in Relationships

You can't turn around these days without seeing something about dieting, wanting to be thin, and people's lack of acceptance about how they look. That got me thinking: I am actually GLAD I grew up fat. That may sound incomprehensible to most of you...but hear me out. I was always the heaviest in my circle of friends. In high school, I took my fair share of bullying and teasing. There was a certain threesome my freshman year that gave me plenty of hell and there was even one kid that said "Hey fat girl, give me some lunch." Sure, it hurt-I still remember it, don't I? But here's the thing. I think that I have gained stronger relationships and self-confidence growing up the way I did.

Those people in school that teased me, although I remember the mean words, I also remember my friends-the same friends I have had since 6^th grade and still have to this day-sticking up for me. That guy that said "Give me some lunch"? I remember his words...but I also remember one of my friends pushing him backwards off the wall he was sitting on as she walked by without missing a step or a word in our conversation. (Don't worry; there was grass less than a foot down in case you were concerned about his well-being.) The threesome that tormented me in math class? I remember my friend Deanna standing up in front of the whole class (including the teacher) and telling them to "Shut the hell up" when swearing in front of a teacher was still a big deal. I also remember my friend Alycia who sat next to me quietly commiserating. In college, one of my frat guy "friends" said that I would be the perfect woman if only I weighed 120 pounds. He didn't think I heard him. When I confronted him and told him that at 5'10" I would be sick at 120 pounds, his face got as red as his hair and he shut up. That is the only time I remember sticking up for myself...it's the only time I felt I had to. In my whole life, these examples are the only things I can really remember bothering me. I'm sure there have been a lot more, but I knew that I had a great group of friends that love me and a family that would kill for me, so what a few boneheads said didn't really affect my day when all was said and done.

When it came time for college and serious boyfriends, the same held true. The friendships and relationships that I entered were based on *gasp* friendship and love, not whether I was in the right clique or looked the right way. There are more acceptances on a college campus and everyone is into their own thing. You can be yourself and be liked for it more so than in high school. Maybe how I looked (and the fact that I was a major tomboy) kept me from having a lot of boyfriends, but the ones I had were quality. I knew they were with me because they liked who I was...not for my smokin' hot body. And I don't worry that my husband is going to one day wake up and resent that I got fat...that's the only me that he's known.

That being said, I know that I am lucky. I have a wonderful family and my weight hasn't caused any health problems-so far. I am not advocating that you let all your kids grow up unhealthy...and for the record, I am going to the gym now. I know I have a long road ahead to trim down. I'm doing it for ME and my daughter, not anyone else. I'm also not looking for a pity party. I am responsible for being heavy. I am also not saying that thin people can't have relationships based on love. I'm just saying that I am glad that my life took this path. The people in my life love me for me...and a lot of people can't say that.