Being Lonely Can Hurt Your Health

Human beings are social creatures by nature and have been that way since the beginning. Even the most introverted person belonged to some sort of tribe or clan. Humans need at the very least one person they can feel connected to. I think it gives us the feeling of not only belonging but self validation as well. We often hear that people can die of a broken heart or simply drift away from being lonely. Well, being that we are social creatures this really isn't that hard to believe. Loneliness is a very powerful and hurtful emotion. We have learned that our emotions affect our health in fact we have learned that everything is connected and can affect our health in different ways. It's very important to keep your life balanced physically, mentally, and emotionally. In this paper I would like to discuss how loneliness affects our health through personal experience and research that has been found as well as ways to cope with feeling lonely.

I would like to start with my personal experience. I have not yet developed a serious illness from loneliness, but I have definitely felt its affects on several occasions. I am a military spouse and have to deal with my husband leaving for extending periods of time over and over. Our longest separation has been a year. I have experienced many different things during these times and loneliness was defiantly among them. Some spouses will simply up and leave everything to go home and stay with their families till their spouse returns. I have a harder time doing that because we would not only lose our house on base which takes awhile to even get one, but also our animals...so I stay and wait it out. Being apart is always bad and it is a growing experience, but I'm here to talk about loneliness. From my observations I can see how loneliness affects me. I become more anxious and worried than I usually am. I begin to self isolate myself even though I want to be by people the person I want to be with the most is unreachable and will be for awhile. When they first leave is always the hardest and when loneliness is at its worst until you have time to adjust and cope. The best way to describe is you feel like you are grieving, but almost stuck because you know they will be coming back. I can't even be in the house the very first day he leaves. I feel like I'm trapped and everything reminds me of him. I feel like sleeping a lot hoping that it will make time go by faster. It's a very difficult situation. Luckily enough I have friends out here and family by phone to at least keep me talking. Can you imagine going through that alone? A person may never learn to adjust. Without my friends and family I think it's highly likely that I would have developed some of the more serious affects of loneliness which will be discussed later in the paper. Lastly, being apart like this has caused a sense of separation anxiety within myself. It's hard to reconnect with him when he does come home because I know he will just have to leave again and I dread that, but you have to so you can cherish the time together that you do have.

So, how bad does loneliness really get? Let's dive into the research and see what facts have been found out. A person can feel lonely even when they are around people because it's not the social interaction they need. Loneliness is among the most common distress people feel and can be defined as the failure to achieve fulfilling levels of social involvement (Karren, Hafen, Smith, and Frandsen, 2006). This makes perfect sense when you think about it. Humans are social creatures, but being social isn't always enough. Humans need to connect with someone else on a level of understanding which is why everyone needs at least one person that really and truly understands them for who they are.

Loneliness can be caused by a person's characteristics-some people are naturally shy and have a hard time making friends because of it, a person's situation-time and money may limit a person and how they are able to socialize, and person events-certain events make people want to isolate themselves such as divorce or death (Karren et al. 2006). No matter the many reasons why a person may feel lonely the potential of consequences on their health won't change. Studies have shown that people who are lonely are at risk for, "unhealthy behaviors, excessive reaction to stress, and inadequate or inefficient ability of the body to repair and maintain its normal physiological processes," (Karren et al. 2006).

Loneliness has been proven to cause more medical problems and shorten a person's life. One way loneliness does this is by causing higher blood pressure (Harms, 2000). It's been found that a lonely person can have a blood pressure reading of 30 points higher than a non-lonely person (Lloyd, 2006). High blood pressure causes your heart to have to pump blood harder which causes your arteries to carry blood at a much higher pressure rate. This will increase a person's chances of having a heart failure, stroke, heart attack, and kidney failure (American Heart Association, 2008). Loneliness causes your blood pressure to be higher because it creates," neuroendocrine changes that lead to atherosclerosis" (Karren et al. 2006). Neuroendocrine can be defined as, "cells that release hormones into the blood in response to stimulation of the nervous system" (National Cancer Institute, 2008) and atherosclerosis is when plaque builds up on the walls of arteries (American Heart Association, 2008). Basically, hormones are being released into a person's blood that affects the arteries which can lead to high blood pressure which can cause other problems.

Another way loneliness impacts a person's health is by lowering a person's immune system. Our immune system is very important as it helps us to fight off illnesses. Loneliness lowers a person's immune system because our bodies create too much cortisol which is a hormone that suppresses the immune system (Karren et al.2006). A group of UCLA researchers also discovered that loneliness goes so deep that it affects our genes. They did an experiment on volunteers that evaluated their amount of social interaction using a scoring system. They looked at the genetic activity within the white blood cells and found that the lonely subjects had genes that were less active and over expressed compared to their non-lonely volunteers. What this means is that with a person with these types of genes will have a harder time fighting diseases and producing antibodies which can leave a person very vulnerable (BBC News, 2007).

Lastly, loneliness has also been linked to premature death or your aging process. It's important to note that loneliness doesn't necessarily start to affect your health right away, but in most cases it is overlooked and suppressed for years which is when the damage starts accumulating and taking its toll on a person's body; which is also why loneliness is usually connected to old age. When we look at loneliness this way it ties alls the causes together. We've already discussed how loneliness can cause high blood pressure and lower a person's immune system. Now combine that with years of stress, anxiety, possible depression, and lack of sleep that loneliness causes and it's not hard to see how it can really damage a person's health and mental stability. If left neglected loneliness can and will kill you much earlier than a non-lonely person (Warner, 2007). Mind not well, body not well is a very well proven statement.

From this information I hope it is easy to see why loneliness affects your health and why it's not good to live with. Luckily there are ways to cope and get over the overwhelming feelings of loneliness so a person can move on to being a happier healthier person. One way to treat loneliness is psychotherapy. There are three different types of psychotherapy that are very effective: behavioral therapy, restricted environmental stimulation therapy (REST), and logotherapy. Behavioral therapy works in a way where the therapist gets the client to fully explain their situation and find ways to make the client less lonely. It is a personal growth type of therapy and involves developing a sense of trust between the client and therapist. Together they work through the problem and set goals to overcome them (Andre, 1991).

REST teaches clients the positive aspects of being alone and lonely. The clients are then introduced into situations that significantly reduce their social and sensory contacts. It's pretty much like being put into direct isolation from everything-imagine yourself in a pitch black room. The idea behind these types of treatments is to teach people that it is okay to be alone and a positive experience so they can avoid feeling lonely every time they are alone (Andre, 1991).

Lastly, logotherapy tries to help people find meaning and purpose in their very existence. People can find meaning in their existence through meaningful work, love, and the attitude a person takes towards their place in life. The idea behind this is if you find yourself alone you won't feel lonely as you will know your life is full of meaning and purpose. You begin to have a positive outlook on yourself and life because you know what you do matters even if you are alone as no one will be there to remind you of how wonderful a person you are-going back to the idea that people need to be self validated (Andre, 1991).

If you would like to avoid the therapy environment there are other options you can take, but if your loneliness is unbearable and these other options do not work a person should not be afraid to seek out therapy. Some other options a person may try instead of therapy are joining a class where you will be directly expose to a group of people with similar interests that you share making it easier to connect and possibly befriend someone. Volunteering for a cause will give you the same benefits as being around people of similar interests and it will also give you meaning and a sense that you are being useful and helping others around you. Adopting a pet can be very beneficial to easing a person's loneliness and reducing stress as you get to come home to a loving cuddly animal every day. Lastly there are also a number of support groups online that a person can become a part of and get to join in the sense of a community with people who are going through similar issues as you are (Scott, 2008).

In conclusion, I hope I fully demonstrated and explained how loneliness can be extremely detrimental to one's health and ways to cope and treat a person's loneliness. From this article I hope people will gain a better understanding of why ignoring your loneliness is more harmful than helpful to your health and mental stability. Just because you ignore your problems doesn't mean they go away and are not festering to cause deeper and greater problems. Loneliness is a real emotion and it can kill.

References

Andre, Rae. (1991). Positive Solitude. New York, NY: HarperCollines Publishers.

Harms, Bill. (2000, August 17). New research reveals how loneliness can undermine health Chicago Chronicle]. Retrieved December 12, 2008, from the World Wide Web: http://chronicle.uchicago.edu/000817/loneliness.shtml

Karren, K., Hafen, B., Smith, N. & Frandsen, K. (2006). Mind/Body Health (3^rd ed.). San Francisco, CA: Benjamin Cummings.

Lyold, Robin. (2006, March 31). Loneliness Kills, Study Shows LiveScience]. Retrieved December 12, 2008, from the World Wide Web: http://www.livescience.com/health/060331_loneliness.html

Scott, Elizabeth. (2008, February 14). Loneliness - How To Cope With Loneliness About.com]. Retrieved December 12, 2008, from the World Wide Web: http://stress.about.com/od/psychologicalconditions/a/loneliness.htm

Warner, Jennifer. (2007, August 20). Loneliness Can Speed Aging WebMD]. Retrieved December 12, 2008, from the World Wide Web: http://www.webmd.com/mental-health/news/20070820/loneliness-can-speed-aging

Unknown Author. (2008, December 12). What Causes High Blood Pressure? American Heart Association]. Retrieved December 12, 2008, from the World Wide Web: http://www.americanheart.org/presenter.jhtml?identifier=2152

Unknown Author. (2008, December 12). Atherosclerosis American Heart Association]. Retrieved December 12, 2008, from the World Wide Web: http://www.americanheart.org/presenter.jhtml?identifier=4440

Unknown Author. (2007, September 12). Why loneliness may damage health BBC News]. Retrieved December 12, 2008, from the World Wide Web: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/6991584.stm

Unknown Author. (2008, Unknown). Dictionary of Cancer Terms National Cancer Institute]. Retrieved December 12, 2008, from the World Wide Web: http://www.cancer.gov/Templates/db_alpha.aspx?CdrID=45803