Being a “Man” in Modern America

"Men who feel powerful in their lives do not need to wear "power ties" or eat "power breakfasts" or "power lunches" as did yuppie arbitrageurs in the 1980s." Michael S. Kimmel (Manhood in America, 1993)

Every day I wake to the sound of my children's feet as they run back and forth down the hallways. Invariably, they each end up tumbling into bed on their mother and I, getting "cuddles". These wonderful actions serve to place huge smiles on their faces as well as ours. This morning ritual is important for us as a family unit, and it does not emasculate me.

Each day I roll painfully out of bed and place my feet alongside each other, waiting as my brain catches up to my body, and I lurch into motion. I continue by getting dressed and moving on with my day. Part of my wardrobe is invariably my handgun, with which I am well trained and practiced. Another relatively new part of my wardrobe includes a $600 piece of carbon fiber that keeps my lower left leg and foot completely immobile so that I can walk without a cane; more importantly, keeps me from falling over on myself or my progeny who swarm back into the room screaming, shouting, and generally causing we adults to have headaches early on in the day.

I am the "man" of my house, though I do not go to work. My wonderful wife does that. I am the "man" of my house, though I am also the stay at home parent. The "househusband" as it were. Do I feel emasculated? Occasionally I do. However, it only takes a brief moment to remember that I once braved the hustle of management; I was once a well-paid individual working to prove my masculinity to the world and occasionally pay bills. Modern America has castrated their males, thanks to the feminist movements, as well as the civil rights movements and more. The average American male has been redefined into a piece of malleable putty fit only for the hands of politicians. My being the person at home with my children does not make me any less a provider, and in fact, given my training, continued education, and ability to teach my children the values I have aggregated, I am more the man than many I meet today.

Today's American male is afraid to say what they are thinking, and more importantly, they are afraid to think on their own. People question the changes that have occurred. With very few exceptions this questioning is done with guarded whispers, gestures, and in hiding. Today's average American male is no match for a "man" and in fact should not call himself such. It doesn't take long to look around and see that today's American "man" is a hollow shell of a person and a poor provider in any one of several areas.

The Imperial States of America have the highest per capita divorce rate, the highest per capita instances of single parenting, and its citizens are among the noisiest, rudest individuals to exist on this planet. I do not believe I am being obtuse by attributing this to the loss of the "male" mystique and the subsequent rapid climb of the state's power. Does my believing we need to regain our "manhood" mean that I am a female hating, racist homophobe? For many it will mean this, however, unless you know me this is a leap of illogical mudslinging that would serve to not help you at all.

To become men we have to learn to think on our own, we cannot become men by leaving our families, discarding our obligations, and destroying our integrity. We cannot become men by beating our children and wives or others; we cannot become men by joining the military or local law enforcement agencies. It is my sincere opinion that to regain ones manhood you should first understand what property is and that you own yourself. Then you should apply that thought process to all others around you, accepting by default that others will be different because no one can be truly equal.

To be a man, you should discard the notions that manhood is reflected in how many women you have sex with, how well you hold your liquor, or how many times you have handcuffed someone else. To be a man, you should not flinch at the duty that is taking responsibility for your own decisions.

"In the meanest are all the materials of manhood, only they are not rightly disposed." Henry D. Thoreau