Being the "Other Woman"

SCENARIO 1: A woman has been seeing a married man. Although she is technically the "other woman," she nonchalantly describes the situation and makes the argument that it is in some way acceptable because she doesn't know the significant other of the man in question.

SCENARIO 2: A man has back-and-forth conversations with a married woman. Her husband finds out and becomes enraged. The husband then proceeds to call the guy and confront him. The single guy thinks the married man was completely out of line because it was his wife who initiated the communication.

In both scenarios, I find one thing in common: lack of respect.

It is highly disrespectful to think you can go around "hooking up" with anyone while having complete disregard for their relationship and their significant other.

Simply "not knowing" someone is not a reason to pursue a relationship with a taken individual. That thought may make it easier on your conscious, but be aware that not knowing them does not make their feelings any less real. They are a person just like you and if the person you love cheated on you, that would probably devastate you. To purposely inflict that sort of pain on someone else is one of the most cold-hearted things you could do.

The possibility exists that the person isn't your typical cheater and simply someone in a vulnerable spot. All relationships encounter problems in which one can question things and become confused. Taking advantage of that situation or becoming involved in their life is not the right thing to do. It is not your relationship to be interfering with.

Obviously, some people are just cheaters and will do it regardless, but you do not have to be the one they do it with. When you cheat with someone, it is just as demeaning to you as it is to the person being cheated on. Both persons are getting toyed with and it is unacceptable to do that to one's self and especially sad to allow another to do it to you.

Sometimes a situation can be quite complicated. Perhaps the married individual hid their marriage and it's existence isn't found out until the extramarital affair has turned serious. You may find it hard to cut the relationship off, but you must realize that the entire relationship is based on a huge lie, thus isn't a relationship at all. If someone lies to you about their true self, then they are nothing more than a facade that should be let go as much as it may hurt to do so. If you think you're in love, stop and ask yourself if that's entirely true. Maybe you're just in love with who you thought they were.

If you purposely pursue someone vigorously even though they are with someone else, you are very wrong to do so. With so many available people in this world, it makes you very selfish and self-centered. Even if you did manage to "take someone away," would you really be happy with someone who has proven themselves a cheater by cheating with you? Feelings of mistrust will undoubtedly surface because you will know firsthand the dirt they are capable of. A relationship built on lies and drama doesn't have much fuel to last.

Personally, I can only hope that other women have the same respect for me as I do them. However, I do live in the real world and understand scandalous women exist and those females will go after my man with a vengeance. That reality is very unfortunate for it shows the lack of self-worth and self-respect that many suffer from. A truly confident individual would never put up with sloppy seconds.

Cheating will always exist, but you can choose to not be a part of its' nasty and vicious cycle. Exercise your right as a wonderful person to have someone love you and only you. Competing for the affection of another is not fun because you are only one among many contenders. The meaning of love is finding that individual who unequivocally wants you.

For those who choose to play the cheating game, remember one thing: What goes around, comes around.