Being Overweight Can Disqualify You from Becoming a Surrogate Mother

Having an older sister who has battled infertility for the past ten years being a surrogate has crossed my mind quite a few times. This definition of a surrogate is a person who carries a child for another couple who is unable to carry a child to term.

There are two major types of surrogacy; traditional surrogacy and gestational surrogacy. Traditional surrogacy, or genetic contracted motherhood is when the woman is using her own egg and being impregnated with the sperm of the intended father though artificial insemination. The woman who becomes pregnant is the biological mother of the child and chooses to relinquish her rights to the commissioning mother.

Gestational surrogacy, also known as complete contracted motherhood, is when the host mother does not have any genetic connection to the child. Using in vitro fertilization, the intended parents produce an embryo that will be transferred to the surrogate to gestate. In some cases, where either the man or woman is unable to produce the needed sperm or eggs, donors are used.

Two weeks ago I decided to get a better look into everything that went along with becoming a surrogate, to see if it was something I could go through with. Giving life to a couple unable to produce a child is an amazing gift. I searched Google for agencies in my area, chose the one that had a website and started my research.

As it turns out, the only way to get a full packet of information (as I learned from emailing the director of the agency) is to fill out a prospective surrogate questionnaire. After explaining that I only wanted information at this point, I then agreed to fill out the form on their website. Simple questions such as name, date of birth, and race were asked. As the form went on it asked if I was a smoker, if I had ever been arrested, and if I had ever had any convictions. All answers were no. Directly after those questions were the height and weight, and then onto drugs, medical conditions, marital status, children's ages, insurance information as well as education.

That was the easiest form I have ever filled out, I thought to myself as I clicked the send button. Of course, that was until I received an email from the agency ten minutes later with a disqualification notice. If all I wanted was information, how on earth was I disqualified? I opened the email; it stated I was not qualified to carry a baby for another couple as I am overweight. I have to say, it hurt to read those words.

I have given birth to three amazingly beautiful, healthy babies, the youngest of which is 6 months old and in the agencies eyes, I am not fit to be pregnant. Do I currently weigh more than I should? Yes. Am I obese? No, not at all. Unlike celebrities, I am a normal person and unable to shed pregnancy weight two weeks after the baby is born.

Because I am not a size 6, the agency is labeling me unhealthy. How is this when the size of the average American woman is a size 12? It is true that women who are overweight may have higher risks of complications during pregnancy and childbirth, but that does not mean they are unable to bring healthy babies into the world.

Some of the risks involved in overweight pregnancies include: higher birth weight, gestational diabetes, and a higher risk for a c-section. Studies cannot prove this a big risk unless the woman is considered morbidly obese, with a BMI (Body Mass Index) of 40% or higher. A person who is considered to be of healthy weight has a BMI of 18.5 to 24.9. Of course, there are also risks of being underweight and pregnant, but you do not see anyone discriminating against those women.

As I see it, women who are pregnant and unable to gain weight and/or underweight are at risk just the same, but on a different level. Complications may occur to those who do not gain the proper amount of weight during pregnancy such as premature delivery, and low birth weight infants. Babies born to mothers that have not gained at least 20lbs during the pregnancy are often considered small for gestational age (SGA), and may have been malnourished during pregnancy.

If these women are not being turned away to carry a baby for others, why are those who are a few pounds overweight? In my eyes, this is just another way for America to show their prejudice against those who are overweight. If a couple wants a baby and is waiting for a surrogate, why turn away those who are ready and willing to carry that baby for them if they have a few extra pounds? It just means they will need to watch their diet and exercise a bit more during pregnancy to ensure a healthy baby.

I honestly doubt these couples would turn away someone for their weight if it meant they could have the baby of their dreams that much sooner.