Being Present for the Death of a Loved One

When you are present during the death of a loved one you will never experience anything quite like it during your life. I have been at the passing of my mother, grandmother and father. Each of the aforementioned I was there holding their hand and saying that it was OK to go. Each of these experiences is a memory that I will never forget. Am I glad that I was able to be there when they were taken away from me? This is a very important question and my answer would have to be yes, it is a split moment in time that I was able to say goodbye and hold the hand of someone I loved dearly.

The first time this happened was with my dearly loved mother. My mother was my very best friend in the world. We shared so much more than many mothers and daughters ever have the chance to. She was also my business partner and her departure left me without my mother, my best friend and my business partner. My mother suffered for two days fighting to hold on. They were the hardest days I have ever lived through. The last day I actually wasn't going to go and see her. Sitting there for hours on end watching her struggle for each breath was so hard to do. I decided I could not handle anymore then all of a sudden I felt as if I was hit on the head and someone told me she would be there for you get to that hospital now. I walked into the room and it was literally minutes later while I was holding her hand and saying it was okay to go that she was able to peacefully pass to the other side. At that moment in time my heart was ripped in two.

The next two years were filled with so much sadness and loss for me. My grandmother, her mother was still alive and she helped give me strength, although I don't know how she did it because she had lost her child. She helped me move on as best I could and we shared two years of a very special relationship living without my mother. It was then that once again my life would be shaken. My grandmother got pneumonia, wound up with a collapsed lung and was to not make it. Once again, I was home and was not going to go and see her at that particular time, yet, something told me to go. I left my children with my dad and ran to the hospital. It was less than an hour to my getting there that my grandmother was taken and once again I was one of the people sitting with her holding her hand. Family told me that she actually held on for those two years with her heart broken in two to make sure I would be okay.

Move ahead two years and there I was once again facing the loss of another special loved one. My dad had really never gotten over my mother's death and for a time my grandmother actually helped to strengthen him. After her passing, he seemed to give up more on living and became ill. For two years I watched my dad go in and out of the hospital and truly not want to be here even though he loved me. My dad missed my mother terribly and wanted to be with her. When the call from the hospital came that morning telling me he wasn't going to make it I got there as quickly as I could. It was not long after my arrival that I was sitting there holding his hand when he was taken from me.

Now you may be asking yourself how someone can sit and watch three of the most important people in their life each be taken away. Yes, I was there for each of these special people who were taken away to a new beginning. I believe I was destined to be there during these times, because at any given moment they could of died and I could have not been there for them. Yet, I was there and it is something I will never forget as long as I live. It is something that unless you have witnessed something like this you truly might not understand the emotions you feel. All I can say is I know that each of them would have been there had it been me and there was no greater way to show my love for them than at the end holding their hand.