Being the Wife of a Musician

Many people think about huge stars and bands like Metallica or Killswitch Engage when they think of rock musicians. However, there are lots of starving artists with crazy amounts of talent who have never even been heard. They hold regular jobs (if they are smart), have friends and families, and also try to find time for their love of music. I am lucky enough to be married to a very talented and wonderful rock musician. I don't think he has aspirations of becoming a millionaire or being on MTV Cribs. His name is Bobby Kennedy and he just wants people who like rock to know he is there, for them to hear it, and to take care of his family. He doesn't spend all day playing, nor does he ignore responsibilities to us, but it's easy to see that he loves his music like any real musician. I think that society doesn't take artists very seriously unless they are into classical or other artistic talents such as painting for example.

Music programs get cut from schools everyday, and hardly any of them encourage taking up rock, hip hop, or alternative styles which would include the students own ideas. This is a huge problem and needs to be addressed. Music provides an oasis, encourages thinking, bonds people who would possibly never meet otherwise, and showcases one's talents that wouldn't be seen if they couldn't express themselves in the type of music they love. I really appreciate Bobby's love of music, but I never was a groupie. My brother, Rhythmatik (his performance name), is an artist also with multiple talents, his style of music like my husbands doesn't just fit into one genre. I've spent many hours in the studio with them both, and have even managed his hip hop group Lyrik Assassinz. Being around people who are musically inclined is nothing new to me and I'm used to all of the attributes that come with being involved with someone who really takes their art to heart. It's hard for them to balance everything, it takes a lot of time for them to do what it takes to make a song with having responsibilities. Someone who is devoted will manage a way to do this though, and we know how to compromise. If not for both of our cooperation, I'm sure it would be a big issue. If you are involved in a relationship with someone who is an artist, especially musicians, you do have to understand that it is a part of them that they can't let go of. The best way to make it work is to do what any loving spouse would do, and that is participating in the making of their art.

My husband Bobby and I have very busy schedules with our infant daughter, work, spending family time, and getting chores done, along with working on his music. We watch movies together, go out to the park, ride around, go shopping, and just have fun. Right now he and my younger brother I mentioned earlier are working on putting a band together. Vocals, lyrics, and instruments such as keyboard and guitar are done by my husband and brother. I throw in my input quite often and even write some lyrics or tweak them for changes in the wording, they both ask my opinion about their work quite often. It makes me feel special that my opinion goes into making something that they both love. My husband I don't always agree on everything, although it is rare that we don't, yet we still find a middle ground on everything. As far as my brother, he always lets me know when he is doing or has a new song done. He just did music for fun, until one day I and some other people told him that he and his group really should use their talent to make music.

Bobby was already an avid guitar player and has been in several bands. He knows about the making of music and is experienced in performing live. I love listening to what they create and it keeps my interest to see what they will do next. I have been encouraging them to form a band for a while and they finally started working together much to my delight. I also have been helping in the creation of their Myspace band pages www.myspace.com/asylum431band, www.myspace.com/rhythmatikassassin, and www.myspace.com/lyrikassassinz82. According to the good response so far and the demand, it looks like I may be back in the management position again for their group. Since they both have a decade plus of experience under their belts, they understand work ethic and family. Rhythmatik is a single father raising a young daughter on his own and going to technical school. I'm very proud of his artistic development, his fatherhood skills, and his aspiring education. Meanwhile, Bobby is a truck driver supporting our family. I stay at home and care for our daughter, because he works long and sometimes odd hours for this type of job. Right now, he is looking for a local driving job since it would be more convenient for us. Their band Asylum 431 is searching for any members that they can find who are cooperative, family oriented, drug free, and have a great love of music in their local region. I believe that once they find some other like-minded musicians, they will go far if they work hard at it.

An average day for us is whatever schedule he has to work that day driving, we both get up with our daughter, share in cleaning responsibilities, run errands together, and hang out with my brother to either watch movies with him and his daughter, or get in the studio to do music. Since there is work and school while taking care of children, we usually try to use the weekends for working on music but it isn't set in stone. Sometimes one of them will have an idea at 1 AM and go over to the other one's house and record it. They practice their lyrics everyday and write down ideas. Our small apartment has lots of guitars, two computers, and speakers. My brother has a bigger home with his own starter studio and equipment. Bobby and Rhythmatik usually do their hard copy recording at his house studio. Our days are pretty hectic at times, but it's not anything that we can't handle. I met my husband when we worked at a former mutual workplace, and from there the rest is history as they say. We do almost everything together and never really tire of one another's company, or the love of music. Passion for music is something that we share, he's the artist and I'm the lover of the art who takes a hands on approach. I have done some vocals to some of Lyrik Assassinz music and there may be more tracks to come. I really can't give that away, you'll just have to watch their music and see I guess. Being married to a musician is sometimes hard, but if you are also just remember that it is a God given talent and should be used not wasted. Life is only what you make of it, so why not make music?