Best 5 & Worst 2 Action Movies of 2008

I will start with some good news and bad news. First, the good news; 2008 was an incredible year for action movies. The bad news; it was so good that though I have 5 best, I only have 2 worst. Also, these reviews assume you have seen them so read with caution: here be spoilers.

We'll start with the bad news:

#2 worst action movie of the year:

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull: There has to be a rule somewhere that says the length of a movie's title should not exceed 5 words; any more than that and the film makers should be fined. There was a lot of anticipation leading up to this movie. The last Indiana Jones movie came out almost 2 full decades ago, so expectations were pretty high for a lot of people. I will admit, I am pretty jaded, so I was not surprised at all when people started complaining about it.

This movie has a lot of what I have come to expect from Spielberg and Lucas: flashy special effects, a big John Williams score, and about as much depth as a wading pool. The movie does succeed in some ways; a lot of what made the other Indy flicks cool is there (with a noticeable lack of bullwhip action), and Harrison Ford looks the part still, which is very impressive on the trailing edge of his 60s.

One disappointing thing that was done both in promoting this movie and the opening credits is that they mention Karen Allen, essentially spoiling what could have been a major twist, i.e. Marion from Raiders of the Lost Ark is in it.

The action scenes were over the top, even for Indy, but basically well done. It was an enjoyable film, and admittedly more fun the second time, but it was objectively, a bad movie. The plot was ridiculous; the end was just cheesy and terrible. Kate Blanchette's death at the end was unimpressive and far inferior to the closing scene of Raiders, which had Nazi's with glowing eyes, 2 face meltings and a head explosion. Crystal Skull had some sparks shooting out of her eyes and a quick boring dissolution.

All in all, I would recommend seeing it if you like vapid fun, or just have to see every Indiana Jones movie, but just go into it knowing it ISN'T the first three. South Park was not very far off the mark in their assessment.

#1 worst action movie of the year:

10,000 BC: This one won't be a surprise to anyone who saw it. To sum it up, there is practically no point, the main character is a coward, the special effects are awful, and unless you really enjoy wasting time watching awful movies, don't bother. It was directed by Roland Emmerich, who's movies have been steadily declining in quality since Independence Day, which is pretty awful in its own right (although I enjoy that one). The main character is D'Leh, pronounced "Delay", which is somehow oddly appropriate considering the word has a negative connotation. His girl gets kidnapped by a civilization that predates the Babylonians, he makes friends with a saber tooth tiger, and there are a lot of woolly mammoths.

Sorry if it doesn't get the write up of Indy, but its really only worth mentioning because of how truly terrible it was.

Now for the good stuff.

#5 best action movie of the year:

Cloverfield: Synopsis; The producer of Lost and the creator of Felicity join forces (again) to make a cross between Godzilla and the Blair Witch Project, and make an awesome movie. The whole movie takes place in Manhattan during an attack from a gigantic creature. No real answers are provided for anything, which keeps the suspense the whole time. They even pull off a convincing justification for the cameraman running around with a camcorder during the ordeal. Here is a bullet list of some of the cool stuff that happens:

A giant monster smashes the Brooklyn bridge

A guy gets bitten in half. Helicopters get BITTEN OUT OF THE SKY

A girl explodes (off camera)

The head of the statue of liberty gets pitched like a softball.

The whole movie is creatively cut with scenes of the protagonist and his estranged girlfriend towards the end of the good part of their relationship, in an effective ploy for creating character development and justifying his actions throughout the movie, plus makes you aware that his friend is recording over their last happy moments with the entire ordeal. The end is abrupt, unexpected and a bit unsatisfying, but fits perfectly. This one is an absolute must see for any monster movie fan.

#4 best action movie of the year:

Wanted: I will start by saying, admittedly, I haven't seen this, but I would be disowned by my wife if I didn't mention it. Here is what I do know: the main character has a boring life, and one awful day at work, he discovers that A his dead father wasn't really dead, but is now, and B, he is genetically predisposed toward being a super assassin. Apparently, its even cooler than it sounds. There are car chases, gun fights, and even a sword fight with guns. A SWORD FIGHT WITH GUNS. That's right, people parrying bullets with bullets. Even Neo couldn't do that.

As soon as its available on DVD, go get it, I know I am going to.

#3 best action movie of the year:

The Incredible Hulk: Comic books dominated the action genre this year. There were no less than 5 that made it to theaters, and the only reason Hellboy 2 isn't in this list (from what I hear) is because me and my wife didn't see it. I expect to rectify that soon.

That aside, in an amazingly short amount of time since the last Hulk movie (5 years), Marvel Studios put out a new one, this time starring Edward Norton and Liv Tyler. Based on the cast alone, you know this one is going to be better. It starts off slow, preferring to build up the tension before revealing the monster for the first time. You get a very smartly put together montage opening the movie explaining the events that lead to Bruce banner becoming the Hulk, without belaboring it with a drawn out opening act.

When we finally get to see him, the people he brutalizes are pretty much asking for it. The movie has the requisite Stan Lee cameo, plus a satisfying number of scenes of the full-on Hulk. Eventually we end up with Tim Roth becoming the Abomination and get an incredible (no pun intended) Hulk on "Hulk" fight that rips apart portions of New York City.

The movie also has cameos of the Hulk TV show's principal actors Lou Ferigno, and believe it or not, Bill Bixby. Just keep your eyes peeled when Banner is watching TV in Brazil.

The Incredible Hulk was a worthy follow up to our number 2 action movie of 2008.

#2 best action movie of the year:

Iron Man: The first comic book movie of the summer of 2008, complete with an A List cast, incredible special effects, and a brilliant modernization of the comic's original story. Unlike The Incredible Hulk, Iron Man follows the inception and creation of the titular character. However, unlike the hulk story which has had plenty of time to be told over and over before, Iron Man is new territory for motion pictures, so some set up was required, and as it turns out, incredibly entertaining.

Think of Iron Man as Batman Begins. The main characters are surprisingly similar, and as Batman followed the inspiration through the first heroic conflict of the billionaire playboy to amazing hero, so does Iron Man. Robert Downey Jr. is an amazing actor, and the years of abuse have done nothing to hurt that. Stark is witty and empathetic. Much like Christian Bale's Bruce Wayne, you can relate to the character, even though he is fabulously wealthy and fights crime and injustice by using high tech gadgets to screw up people's days.

The movie modernizes the comic's core while never losing the essential parts that made it so enjoyable a title. There is a fabulous sense of justice pervading everything, and the special effects are top notch and never look fake; You can actually suspend disbelief and accept that there is a guy in a red and gold suit flying around shooting missiles out of his arm.

Along with some nice little gems in The Hulk, Iron Man also helps to introduce S.H.I.E.L.D. and sets up the upcoming Avengers movie. (from the Marvel title, which has nothing to do with the god-awful Uma Thurman/Sean Connery vehicle that came out over a decade ago)

Oh, and speaking of Batman and Christian Bale:

#1 best action movie of the year:

The Dark Knight: Believe the hype. Believe the claims that the late great Heath Ledger set the bar for movie villains and that his acting was beyond anything ever seen before. The Joker is not a goofy Caesar Romero, or a over the top Jack Nicholson. He is a sick, sadistic sociopath who just wants to watch the world burn down and inhale the smoke. He is disturbing and actually scary. He is also laugh out loud hilarious in parts.

Oh, the rest of the cast is great as well. Not a comic book movie was made this year that didn't include an amazing A-list cast. Morgan Freeman, Christian Bale, Aaron Eckhart, Maggie Gylenhal (replacing Katie Holmes in the role of Rachel Dawes, an inspired and great choice)... Plus too many others to mention rounding out the cast. The action is great, the acting is great, the plot is great. It is probably the most well rounded movie to hit theaters, transcending the label of just "action" and qualifying more for "awesome and awe inspiring", though that is redundant.

If you haven't seen it, I won't spoil any of this one. Its on DVD, go out and rent it. Now. We'll wait.

Great wasn't it?