Best Movies to Slake Your Chuck Norris Jones

Chuck Norris reemerged on the pop culture grid within the last five years with the advent of Chuck Norris jokes. These essentially proclaim Chuck to be the end-all, be-all in the realm of machismo. Watching his films, it's easy to see where these came from. His stunt fighting and general knowledge of fisticuffs paired with his gruff, ginger-colored beard make for a memorable, and quite macho, combination. This review compares three of his films to help you determine which might be best for a quick Chuck fix.

We begin chronologically with 1972's Return of the Dragon. This is a Bruce Lee picture featuring Mr. Norris as the brutish enforcer, Colt, out to claim the restaurant belonging to Bruce Lee's relatives in Rome, Italy. As fun as this sounds, Chuck doesn't do a lot of speaking in the film, and his trademark beard is but a twinkle in his hawk-sharp eyes. The main reason for a Chuck Norris fan to watch this film is for the final battle in Rome's world-famous Colosseum. In addition to being a great fight scene with nice pacing, this fight also will (seemingly at random) cut away to adorable kittens. For my money, it doesn't get much more all-audiences than that.

Next up, we have 1982's Silent Rage. This is somewhat of a modern horror-western. Chuck stars in this film as a gentle, but tough town sheriff standing up to gangs, and, penultimately a tall, thin, mentally ill superhuman. Arguably the best part of this film, the camera work is astounding. It's very reminiscent of John Carpenter's indie hit, Halloween, as is much of the feel of Silent Rage. The editing, however, often lazily lingers well after scenes have ended. There's more Chuck for your money, as well as more butt kicking fight scenes. Horror fans will also appreciate a claustrophobic slasher movie-esque feel. The acting and writing is sub-par, and Chuck's hair is just a little too neat and Prince Valiant for my tastes. Although, it doesn't take much imagination to transform this movie into a so-called Chuck Norris vs. Michael Myers movie.

We touch lastly upon 1983's Lone Wolf McQuade. This is Chuck at his all-time best. He's grungy, dirty, socially repressed, and all of those things make him quite violent. This time he plays a cavalier Texas ranger out to stop a kung-fu fighting drug lord, played by the late David Carradine of Kung-Fu: The Legend Continues fame. This movie keeps a very entertaining, action-packed pace. Lovers of 60s and 70s exploitation cinema can find added enjoyment at colorfully-spoken racial stereotype characters Jackson the black FBI agent, and Kayo the Mexican deputy. The action builds in intensity from a pinball playing midget crime lord to the death of Chuck's wolf to Chuck jump-kicking his own porch to splinters to the finale clash of titans between a jeep and a bulldozer.

This being said, in this writer's opinion, Lone Wolf McQuade easily takes the prize of best bang for your Chuck Norris buck. Aside from being occasionally corny and starring the aforementioned B-movie action lothario, this is a truly enjoyable action film. I hope this helps the next time you're jonesing for the most iconic Chuck Norris at a low price at your local bargain bin.