Best 'Two and a Half Men' Episodes of Season Four

It is hard to believe that "Two and a Half Men" has been on our television screens for seven years. The pilot episode of the hit show starring Charlie Sheen as a womanising jingle writer, aired in September 2003, and has become one of the most popular comedies of recent times. "Two and a Half Men" differs slightly from the normal sitcom by daring to make the most risque jokes, but somehow managing not to take it too far so people turn off in disgust.

Charlie Sheen, Jon Cryer, Angus T. Jones, Holland Taylor and Marin Hinkle have been in the main cast since the beginning, but other long term recurring roles by Conchata Ferrell, Melanie Lynskey, Ryan Stiles and Glee's Jane Lynch are very well known to fans.

In each season of the show, there are always some episodes that will stay in your memory forever. This is a guide to the best Two and a Half Men episodes of season four - otherwise known as the season Judith got remarried!

1)" Who's Vod Kanockers" (Season 4, Episode 2)

After Alan and Kandi's very short marriage fails, Alan feels guilty because Charlie didn't marry Mia and attempts to fix it by being extra nice. Meanwhile, Charlie is having a hard time adjusting to having Aerosmith's Steven Tyler as a neighbour.

Best quote of the episode: Alan: I just want to say, I'm a huge fan. I lost my virginity to you
Steven Tyler: Really? Well there's a lot of the 70's I don't remember

2) "A Live Woman of Proven Fertility" (Season 4, Episode 5)

Judith announces she is getting married to her boyfriend, Herb which makes Alan happy as it means he will no longer have to pay alimony. However, Alan starts to panic when Herb gets cold feet and he and Charlie work together to ensure the wedding goes ahead.

Best quote of the episode: Alan: Jake can have a little brother-- that would be a blessing for him, would it? Herb: Oh, I don't know if I want more kids. Alan: Then wear a condom. Besides, Jake's used to being an only child. Charlie: If there was a new one, he'd probably eat it by mistake.

3) "Apologies for the Frivolity" (Season 4, Episode 6)

Charlie begins dating a woman, Lydia, who bears remarkable similarities to his mother - yet he is the only one who is oblivious! When the two women meet though, it starts to become frighteningly clear to him.

Best quote of the episode: Evelyn: What do you do? I mean, besides my son.
Lydia: I'm in real estate.
Evelyn: How interesting, so am I.
Lydia: Oh, yes, Evelyn Harper! I recognize you from your bus bench ads. People all over town are sitting on your face.
Evelyn: Well, dear, maybe someday if you work hard, people will be sitting on your face too.

4) "That's Summer Sausage, Not Salami" (Season 4, Episode 14)

Alan's insistence that he must have the exact type of milk he wants starts to wear down Charlie and Berta, but Charlie sees a solution when a beautiful woman moves into the house next door. Instead of keeping the woman for himself, he tries to set Alan up with her. However, it all goes wrong when Danielle turns out to be just like Charlie.

Best quote of the episode: Danielle: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. There is no need to fight over me! Alan, you're a sweet, gentle guy. Charlie, you're a pig, but I find you very attractive. There's only one reasonable solution: I'll have to do you both.
Charlie [to Alan]: No crossing swords.
Alan: Are you out of your mind? You're actually considering this?
Charlie: Yeah, you're right. I don't even like eating dinner next to you.

5) "My Damn Stalker" (Season 4, Episode 15)

Alan decides to try online dating, but has lied on his dating profile. When he meets one of the women he has been chatting to, it turns out she told some lies too. Meanwhile, Charlie doesn't believe Rose when she tells him she is moving to London.

Best quote of the episode: Rose: Oh, I almost forgot. I thought you should have this. It's our first restraining order. Look how shaky your signature was. You were so spooked.

6) "Young People Have Phlegm Too" (Season 4, Episode 16)

When Charlie can't keep up with his young girlfriend in the bedroom, he tries to prove he is not old by going to a club with her and her friend, dragging Alan along too. Alan quickly realises that the club scene is not for him but Charlie refuses to back down. Later, when Charlie has chest pains, he begins to consider that he really isn't as young as he once was - but Alan has the perfect solution to make him feel better.

Best quote of the episode: Dr. Prajneep: What have you had to eat recently?
Charlie: Nothing much.
Alan: He had Belgian waffles, link sausages, two Red Bulls, a quart of Scotch, and the tongue of a twenty-four-year-old actress.

7) "It Never Rains in Hooterville" (Season 4, Episode 18)

Alan's estranged wife Kandi auditions for a television show called Stiffs; and Alan panics that Jake will soon be grown up and will no longer have time for him - which leads to an attempt at father/son bonding.

Best quote of the episode: Charlie: Hey, what's your hurry? If she (Kandi) becomes a big TV star while you're still married, she'll have to pay you alimony!
Alan: Yeah. And if pigs start flying out of my rear end, we'll have free bacon for the rest of our lives!
Jake: I don't know that I'd eat that bacon.

8) "Smooth as a Ken Doll" (Season 4, Episode 19)

In the first half of the best ever episode of Two and a Half Men, Judith's wedding day has almost arrived, and Herb's sister Myra is in town to fulfill bridesmaid duties. There is just one problem - Judith and Myra can't stand each other. After an epic night out together, Charlie finds himself becoming attracted to Myra, even though she is absolutely not his usual type.

Best quote of the episode: Myra (to Alan): So how does this work? Do you get your original testicles back or does my brother give you his?

9) "Aunt Myra Doesn't Pee A Lot" (Season 4, Episode 20)

Part two of Judith's wedding preparation sees her dislike of Myra reaching a head. Myra goes to stay at Charlie's, forcing Jake to share a room with Alan. Jake becomes annoyed when it is clear that Aunt Myra is actually spending the night in Charlie's room. Later, at Judith's wedding, Alan bumps into Herb's ex with interesting consequences.

Best quote of the episode: Alan (to Charlie): You just could not control yourself. "A female's in the house, she must me mounted!"

10) "Tucked, Taped and Gorgeous" (Season 4, Episode 21)

Alan makes friends with Greg, a single dad who happens to be gay. Both Alan and Charlie get on well with him leading them both to begin questioning whether they have been suppressing homosexual tendencies.

Best quote of the episode: Alan: You think I joined a support group to pick up women?
Charlie: No, I think you joined a support 'cause you're a whiny little wuss. But as long as you're there, you might as well nail a few.

If you enjoyed this guide, check out the previous three:

The Best Two and a Half Men Episodes of Season One

The Best Two and a Half Men Episodes of Season Two

The Best Two and a Half Men Episodes of Season Three