Best Way to Apologize

When an apology is called for it should be done with expectation of non-acceptance. You shouldn't have to work your tail off to gain the other individual's forgiveness and trust, just have the right frame of heart along with your words. Too often we apologize without explanation of the intent behind the offense. The mere words "I'm sorry" or "I apologize" just aren't good enough. Part of the problem is we were never taught how to apologize correctly.

An apology means putting yourself in the other person's shoes, feeling their pain, and if necessary, understanding their anger. An apology is humble, truthful, without excuses, fully disclosed, and not taking the other person for granted. Never say "I'm sorry about what happened, but you made me mad." Try to avoid usage of the word 'but.' The use of but implies justification. Accept full responsibility without sharing the blame.

No one has the right to be like a light switch in someone else's life. You can't just turn it on and off when and how you please. The other person shouldn't allow it. An individual will say "Let's just bury the hatchet and move on." The problem with that is what happened in the first place? Who offended who? Somebody has some explaining to do.

Apologize and mean it. A person who is forced to apology for an offense is not being sincere, and only showing accountability without responsibility, and usually without clarification. Have patience after apologizing, because the offended person may still be angry or feel like the damage is too severe to cave in so quickly. It may take that person a while to calm down. Face-to-face apologies usually work out better.