BET J's Abiola Abrams: Ready, Set DARE!

Abiola Abrams is a woman that probably walks into a room and commands better yet, demands attention. Her vibe is confident, self-assured and exudes of Diva-tude. I was "introduced" to Abiola through another associate (Lucy Stand Up) and as I began to communicate with Abiola, I knew she was a sister I'd want to "kick it with."

She is well educated, beautiful and cheeky to say the least. Abiola is the Host of BET J's The Best Shorts and Author of the newly published book DARE from Simon & Schuster. So, as she began her virtual book tour, I knew I had to get a seat on her whirlwind cyber promotion.

As you hit play on the promo video and the music in the background reverberates "GET THE HELL ON UP," you know you've landed on Planet Abiola.

So, without further adu, I give you, ABIOLA ABRAMS in her own words.

Saba, Ink:. What is the origin and meaning of Abiola?

Abiola: Abiola is a Yoruba name meaning joy. My parents named me although they dispute which one chose the name. Abiola is a very common name in Guyana. Every other person born in the 70s or 80s is named Abiola. It was a very difficult name to grown up with as a child in America since children just want to blend in, and I was teased mercilessly, but now I wear my name with pride. Spread the joy, spread the love! (laughs)

Saba, Ink: How would you describe your book and why?

Abiola: Dare is the story of Maya, a sociologist who becomes an off the chain rapper. It is lots of fun, but also smart. I don't mind calling the novel chick lit because people have a need to put boxes around things to understand them, and there are many ways to describe something. Another person might describe Dare as literature, and another might say social commentary. A third person might say romantic comedy. We would all be correct.

Saba,Ink: With Oprah's Book Club, people may not realize how segregated the Abiola: Publishing Industry can be - Describe your journey and experiences.

Abiola: I have a personal policy of not dwelling on the negative. However this was very surprising to me. There is still a belief that we don't read, and it is a fact that white people are not inclined to buy a book with a black woman's face on the cover. Dare will find its audience despite the naysayers.

Saba,Ink: I love the idea of a Virtual Book Tour and your promos-what inspired you to go this route?

Abiola: Having to do grassroots marketing forces you to make the best of your resources. Often times, you come up with something better than your initial plan. This virtual tour has been so much fun as I introduce myself to the audiences of other bloggers and sites and vice versa. As a writer and artist, I love meeting new people to discuss themes that I introduce in my work. Nothing can take the place of shaking a person's hand. However, someone did the math for me yesterday: Meet 20 people in a room at a one-hour book signing. Meet 200 people across the blogosphere in one hour on a blog tour. It's pretty cool.

Saba,Ink: As a Filmmaker, did you create the montage for the video book tour promo?

Abiola: I did. As you know, I host The Best Shorts, the short film show that airs on BET J. I had a vision of shooting a promo, but it didn't happen the way I wanted it to so I created my trailer editing from stills. It was fun to create.

Saba,Ink: Karrine Steffans (Superhead) has her tell all story about life as a woman in the entertainment industry. Are there similarities with that story and DARE? And secondly, how do you separate your work from books like those?

Abiola: That's a great question because the more that the writer tries to separate herself from books like these, the more publishers try and need to draw a parallel. It can be very jarring to hear the marketing department speak about how they need to sell your work. Karrine Steffans is a runaway success in publishing. In many ways, her book may have allowed a publisher to look at me as a young black woman and say, wow, what do you have to say? Publishers are in the business of making money so it makes sense for them to try to piggyback on financial success. My main character Maya Hope is a very different person from Karrine as she is a sociologist trying to escape from the mediocrity of her life. Karrine's story, at least the way I understand it, is that she was an abused teen seeking to escape herself. They both learned that wherever you go, there you are. You can't run from you, and you may lie to yourself, but that doesn't last either.

Saba,Ink: As a Graduate of Sarah Lawrence and an MFA from Vermont College, that tells me that you have been exposed to quality education and a multi-cultural world. How do you leverage those experiences and find your space as an Author, Actor, TV Host on BET, Woman of Caribbean....remaining authentic and not boxed by the world?

Abiola: In my quiet moments, when it's just me and my mirror, I am not there with my degrees, or my television fans or Simon and Schuster colleagues, it's just me and my spirit. I used to feel the need to fight boxes and labels until I realized that I can't be boxed anyway so there's no need to fight. All that I have to do is be, and I have already succeeded. One of my favorite lines in Maya Angelou's poetry is "Bringing the gifts that my ancestors gave, I am the dream and the hope of the slave." That is so awesome and powerfully true. Slaves in the US and Caribbean could not have imagined me. I cannot be boxed. I succeed everyday just by opening my eyes and holding my head high. By even just having this conversation we have already defied the odds. We have to invent ourselves. We have no choice. The box does not really exist. I have no choice but to stand on the backs of the great men and women who came before me and do my part, in my own small way. For me that means using pop culture entertainment to empower people culturally, emotionally, sexually and politically. For someone else that may mean starting a school in Compton, walking picket lines with farmers, or being a stand up comedian on the leading edge, forcing people to think with humor. There are many fronts and we all need to do our part.

Saba, Ink: In a Ms. Magazine article entitled Dear Monica (Monica Lewinsky) you comment to her that "your flagrant comfort with your sexual self is to me completely and unconditionally feminist." Talk to me about that and what it says about your own sense of WOMAN-NESS.

Abiola: For me to say that I own my body and sexuality and power is still radical. In countries where they practice female genital circumcision, they do so because the thought of women having access to sexual pleasure scares them. It's the same thing here. A woman who has a sense of her whole self, including sexual self esteem is scary because people don't know what that means. So, the society at large creates cartoon images of what a beautiful woman is, and what a sexual woman is. Any woman who wants to even speak about sexuality is branded as a slut because it is believed that we have no right to pleasure.

For different people sexual self esteem means different things. In the African American community we don't really talk about sex. Yet our bodies are everywhere in videos and magazines. Where is our voice? We don't talk about sex and the result is rampant teenage pregnancy, and a sense of denial around many facts like the dissolution of the family across the board and rising numbers of HIV cases and deaths.

Saba,Ink: Your Goddess Factory seems to be all about empowering Women and supporting them to do it on their own terms. Who or what has inspired your strength, confidence and pioneering spirit?

Abiola: My mother and my father are my biggest role models. My parents are amazing and they support me and believe in me even when what I am doing confuses them! My family is my source of strength.

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Saba,Ink: Because you come across as such a strong woman, as well as being physically beautiful, how does that affect your relationships with both men and women?

Abiola: It's funny because my friends notice all of the things that just don't register in my consciousness. I was having a conversation with 3 of my friends the other day and they were talking about how men were intimidated by me and all of these other women were jealous of me. I was totally oblivious. I really see 90 percent of the people I encounter as beautiful, so this was surprising. Also, cocoa skin was not praised anywhere outside of my household when I was growing up. I was teased mercilessly by African American kids for being weird, being dark skinned, having a vegetarian family, etc. So I thank you for that question, but my experience is more of yeah-wow! The more that I learn about personal power the more people I want to bring with me.

In our communities we have so many issues that to even consider joy and happiness is at times a luxury. I am here in the true spirit of my name to say-yes! You have a right to happiness. Look, the Americans even saw fit to write it into our Constitution-you have a right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. We have to own that. Happiness is our birthright and I stubbornly refuse to be miserable for anybody. I wake up every day grateful and with the spirit and energy of joy. People are starving in other places, what would I be complaining about?

Saba,Ink: What are some life lessons you'd like share for those trying to DARE TO LIVE LIFE?!?!?

Abiola: My novel Dare includes affirmations and homework woven into the book. Dare is about a young woman who steps outside of herself to find a life. She invents herself, and that's what we all need to do. Ask yourself, who are you without the baggage and expectations of those around you? Expectations are burdensome. Shed that baggage and just be. Will the people around you think that your new behavior is strange? Maybe, but we each have to live our own lives. After all is said and done, your choices are between you and your maker. Maya, the heroine of Dare makes a bunch of crazy blunders as she tried to figure out her path, and so did I. I will continue to do so. But the risk is worth it, I promise you! On my interactive site for Dare I have excerpts and these lessons posted as a free gift under Dareitude: www.daretogetalife.com and on my main website readers can find everything else www.abiolaabrams.com. Thanks so much Saba. I really enjoyed this. You're a great interviewer-good questions!

Dare by Abiola Abrams is available at Amazon.com, Barnes and Noble, Powell's or wherever you buy books.