Beware of the Crazy Man

Betty stumbled through the trees that lined the river bank. She was wet and covered in mud and dirt. As she made her way back to the BBQ she prepared herself for the questions to come. She knew she must choose her words carefully. She must not alarm anyone so much they would endanger themselves for her.

Today was her birthday and that's why everyone was here. Her husband was preparing the BBQ with the guys. Her mom had arrived just a short time ago with her birthday cake and other family members. They were all here for her. Well, she was certainly going to be the center of attention now.

It seemed only minutes ago she'd told her husband she was going for a walk along the river and would be back within the hour. He wasn't too worried but asked, "You want me to come with you?"

She just laughed and answered, "No, I'll scream if I need you help."

The guys all laughed because they knew her temper. If someone grabbed her they would get a well deserved beating. Beside it was the middle of the day and the park was packed with people. It wasn't likely anything would happen. Betty smiled and waved, walking away knowing she was going to have little fun of her own. They would never forget today. Hopefully she wouldn't run into the one crazy person hiding in the woods waiting for some unsuspecting woman all alone.

She knew Mike was going to be worried as soon as he saw her so she tried not to limp too much. When he looked up and saw her limping he dropped everything and ran to her. She could see the concern on his face and knew the time was right. She held tight to him as he carried her back to the picnic area.

"Betty, what happened? Are you hurt?" Mike asked. He was worried she'd fallen and needed a doctor.

Betty answered as she tried to calm herself, "No, no I'm ok. Just let me rest for a minute. It is so unbelievable I can't quite figure out what happened or how I got away."

"AWAY!" Mike yelled. "Tell me what happened right now!"

By this time everyone had gathered to see if she was ok. When she had their attention she began her story.

"Well, I was coming back from the river when I heard someone behind me. When I turned around this crazy old man grabbed my arm and tried to pull me with him. He said no daughter of his was going to be out in the woods alone. I didn't know him and wasn't going anywhere with him."

Mike couldn't believe what he was hearing. He asked,

"What did he look like? Is he still out there?"

Betty stayed calm as she continued ,

"I don't think so. I started to fight but he was pretty strong for an old man. Finally we fell and during the fight I started to kick at him. Well, I was shocked when he started kicking back! There we were, laying on the ground kicking at each other. I knew I had to try and get out of there. I finally got far enough away from him that I was able to jump up and run. I was only about ten steps away when he tackled me! I did everything I could remember from that defense class I took last summer but I was so scared."

Everyone talked at once, trying to decide what to do but Betty kept insisting she was fine and please don't call the police just yet.

She continued her story, her husband holding her tight, "Finally I felt like I could get away if I just kicked him hard enough but when I did that's when he grabbed my leg. I think that's how I hurt it. Anyway, I kept on fighting but he had a tight hold on my leg and kept on trying to pull me toward him. He kept saying he was going to throw me in the river and I got really scared. I don't know why because I can swim just fine but at the time I didn't think of it that way. I grabbed a tree that was near me but he kept trying to pull me loose. He pulled on my leg so hard I heard something pop and started to cry. But he wouldn't stop pulling my leg until he fell backwards into the river."

Mike asked her where it hurt and she said,

"Here, give me your leg and I will try to show you what he did when I heard it pop."

Mike did as she asked and she started to pull and twist his leg, never once ever causing him any pain. He wasn't sure why she was being so gentle so he said, "You aren't even hurting me. Are you sure this is what he was doing?"

Betty kept a firm grip on his leg and continued to pull on it. She was very intent when she said,

"Yes, I'm sure this is what he was doing. He kept pulling and pulling my leg just like I'm pulling your leg now!"

Everyone including Mike became silent. Smiles started out slow and Mike finally looked at her and said,

"Unbelievable. You got me."

With that he threw back his head and joined in the laughter now taking over the picnic. She had done it. She stood on the picnic table and took her bows to applause and shouts of good one from all who listened to her story. She was the new Queen of family fairy tails.