BEWARE of a SCORNED WOMAN

White caucasian, aged about 50, four knife wounds, one in the back, two in the stomach and the fatal one right through the heart!

The body doesn't belong here. It's still quite warm and oozing blood. No-one has claimed it. It was found lying prostrate in reception!!

It must be removed. Not a good advert for their profession. The police have been called and are on their way. No-one must touch the body meanwhile - that's hard to say to an undertaker!

When identification is eventually declared, it appears the body has the name of Robert Ventrum, a local businessman, leaving a wife, two daughters and possibly a mistress!

Apparently our Mr. Ventrum was a well known womaniser and often frequented local clubs. Mrs. Ventrum has been informed and is playing the part of the grieving widow, even though everyone knows the marriage was as good as over several years ago. She makes a good grieving widow actually, but then apparently she used to be on the stage.

The police investigation drags on a few weeks. All Mr. Robert Ventrum's women friends have been interviewed several times over. They all tell the same story "He was wonderful, so kind and loving" but as time goes on suspicion falls not on any business partners or his wife, but Sarah, one of his daughters!!

Apparently Sarah, aged 19, who knew all about her Father's misdemeanours, followed him one night and waited for him outside one of the clubs. They argued and he hit her, something he had never done before, and in her rage she stabbed him not once, but three times. It was quite obvious to the police, one Chief Inspector Maskew, that she could not have moved the body on her own, there had to be someone else involved!

Sarah was taken into custody. She broke down some time later that evening and it came out that one of her boyfriends had helped her and had escorted her there that night and after saw someone enter the undertakers and go on through to the next room and decided to drag the body there, just a short distance away. It also appealed to his sense of humour! Sarah's boyfriend, Kevin Archer, was arrested within the hour, and charged as an accessory. In due course they were both imprisoned.

There were many grieving at Robert Ventrum's grave but as the coffin was lowered into the ground a faint smile could be seen on Mrs. Ventrum's lips! Some even suggested that she might have even put her daughter up to it! Who can you believe these days...........