Beware of Secrets

Little kids so often play 'secrets' games but I guess this is part of the development of interpersonal trust and kinship. We also have to teach small kids to keep their 'private' parts private. Small children also learn what information is appropriate for sharing; and with whom.
Besides all this we have to also teach our children to know when it is not appropriate to keep secrets.
Secrets range from being innocuous right through to being downright dangerous.
Perpetrators who abuse young children utilize secrets as part of their menu in serving up abuse. Victims of all kinds of abuse are told to keep it 'secret' otherwise they may suffer some dire and scary circumstances. Perpetrators can rape, kidnap and physically or sexually abuse and threaten victims by insisting they keep the abuse secret. Perpetrators of abuse rely on secrets to prevent them from being caught and appropriately dealt with.
Bear in mind that when you ask a person to keep a secret you are also asking them to tell lies.

Aside from all the issues surrounding young children I'd like to talk about secrets in a more generalized sense.
I think it can often be wrong even a abusive to ask someone else to keep a secret.
However discretion is another matter. The art of discretion is something gained from maturity and the acquisition of empathy and sensitivity.
Being sensitive towards others' feelings is a fine quality and it may sometimes be wise and respectful to not pass along any information that could hurt third parties.
Learning what can be shared, or not shared and when, and with who is all about exercising your discretionary powers.

I don't like it when people ask me to 'keep a secret'; however if they instead say something like, "I'd appreciate if you don't pass along this information to (whoever) then they are not abusing me by asking me to keep a secret. Instead they are entrusting me to use and share the knowledge in a discretionary way should an appropriate occasion ever arise.
Some people even pride themselves on the fact that they can keep secrets; however keeping secrets can breed and perpetrate hostility, paranoia and abuse of power. Many people I've known over the years even express distaste and make a 'big deal' about 'earning their trust'. Such people are, to my mind being manipulative and power hungry. Charismatic Cult leaders know these things very well.
The proper use of discretion requires the maturity and wisdom that can come to fit like a second skin at any age in life.

Keep posted.