Beware of Whiplash Impostors!

I was perusing Glenn Beck's TheBlaze.com, reading articles and comments when I was gobsmacked back to the present. There, on an article about the Wisconsin protests and how Obama's Organizing for America (OfA) is setting up phone banks and providing buses for out of state protesters to magically appear in Madison, I discovered there is another clown...er, I mean individual who also employs the moniker Snidely Whiplash.

The main difference between the impostor and the genuine article is despite my dyslexia, I can spell. The impostor Whiplash spells his nom de plume "Snidley-Whiplash" with the "l" and "e" transposed and a dash between "Snidley" and "Whiplash." Rank amateur! How dare he (or she) defame the name of one I have worked so hard to defame in my own right?

As my friends and the "long time" usual suspects know, my given moniker is Jim Clayton and I wrote under that name for almost my entire first year at AC. I used another nom de plume for a short time and then got to pondering....who is the most cartoonish, asinine and impotent character of evil out in the world?

Immediately the image of one Snidely Whiplash, Dudley Doright's arch enemy, appeared in my mind's eye. I could see good old Snidely clear as a bell...he was standing over Nell Fenwick, Dudley's gal pal. He was wearing his black tuxedo, tails and all, and his black stovepipe top hat, as Nell lay tied to the railroad tracks as Snidely was exacting revenge for her both being Dudley's gal as well as being the daughter of Inspector Fenwick, Dudley's boss.

Snidely twisted his handlebar mustache and delighted in the fate Nell was in for, of course until either Dudley or her father showed up to save her in the nick of time. Of course it was always sketchy if Dudley would arrive in time because as cartoon fans know, Dudley was more in love with his horse than he was with Nell.

Why do I writer under the moniker of an inept and evil cartoon character? Simple...I was playing to my audience. Not my friendly audience of folks who actually like and/or agree with my positions for the most part, but my friends who fall into the "usual suspects" category. I use a ridiculous name to fulfill my potential detractors most vivid imaginations about what an evil, hating, moronic and obtuse conservative could possibly be. And it seems to be working out just fine because in 4 years I have been called an awful lot of interesting things.

But now there's a fly in my ointment...some foolish, no spelling clown using and abusing my name! So reader's beware. The ether is filled with misinformation, scams, sycophants, pyramid schemes and impostors. What untold damage to my hard won reputation can said impostor do? I can only hope the pretender does not make reader's think me all fuzzy, warm and touchy-feely.

What if the impostor tries to make nice with the usual suspects? I will appear weak. I might even appear accommodating. I may even - shock and dismay - appear reasonable. We can't have that now can we? I have worked too long and hard for that to happen.

So reader's keep an eye peeled for the no-spelling impostor. And do not attribute any comment from the impostor to me, the real Snidely Whiplash! Besides, if he spells his first name SNIDLEY, would that not be pronounced "snid-ley." See?

Don't be fooled friends. In the meantime I will be twisting my handlebar mustache between my evil fingers and uttering my trademark phrase "Curses! Foiled again!"