Bewulf (2007)

This is one of those I will never have those two hours of my life back again movies. I mean did they even read Beowulf before they decide to wreck one of the oldest known hero stories? The visuals are good, but the people look a little off in some scenes. And by the gore and the over focusing on breast shots you can tell that the computer gaming industry made this film. The storyline is not so good. The script even less so, and the characters were pretty shallow. There are some famous voices behind those computer masks, but that may be the only plus in this whole film.

There is a monster in Denmark and we don't mean Hamlet's uncle. It attacks the mead hall and kills a bunch of inhabitants within. Enter Beowulf who slays the terrible monster and his mother, at least thats how the original story goes. The tellers of this Beowulf tale take some liberties with the great epic and give Grendal's mother and more erotic role. They also make Beowulf less a hero and more a boaster, a man with flaws, now why would you want to do that to a legend/hero. Why mess with the myth?

The whole computer animated thing was cool, and it did look nice in most of the scenes. But sometimes I feel like they concentrate on the animation so much that they forget about the plot and script. And there were scenes I didn't understand at all, like the scenes of Grendal's mom looking like a sex kitten dipped in gold or the whole fight scene where Beowulf fights in the nude? The dragon was pretty nifty, I have to admit.

Ray Winstone voices Beowulf. He has a nice strong, hero voice and I think does a very nice job of voicing the character. Robin Wright Penn voices Wealthow Queen of the Thanes who is one of the more interesting characters in the movie. She is handed off like chattel from one king to another, but refuses to have sons with the men as long as they are having relations with Grendal's mom. Anthony Hopkins made a very lively Hrothgar, King of the Thanes. His was one of the more animated and believable characters. Hopkins did a smashing job. John Malkovich voices Unferth the semi-sleazy adviser. Who bad mouths Beowulf, but is unable to do the job himself. And who will ever forget Angelina Jolie as Grendel's Mother. Our dipped in gold sex kitten. She even speaks some old English! Not exactly what I had in mind when thinking about Grendal's mom.

This was a bad movie. I found myself laughing at things in inappropriate places. The plot is not good, the script is not good. The voices and animation are good. There is a lot of implied sex and a lot of gore so this one is not for the kiddies. I would say give this one a pass until it comes on cable and only watch it then if you are very, very, very bored. And are limited to that one channel. Personally, I wish I had my money back on this one.