Beyond the Full Body Scanners by TSA

Booby trap. Putting the T and A in TSA. Bend over America because this could be your next nightmare on Anal street. Is this explosive news just a joke or just another escalation of an already burlesque kabuki at the airport? Joseph Farah, CEO of World Net Daily has been misreported to be a terrorist expert, rumored a titillating fake news story that, "Women suicide bombers recruited by Al-Qaeda are known to have had the explosives inserted in their breasts." ^[1] Farah's story is based on the United Kingdom's military intelligence section 5,( MI5) 'what-if' scenario.

Pentaerythritol Tetranitrate, (PETN), is an exceedingly powerful explosive, fundamentally undetectable by Whole Body Imaging, (WBI), technologies used by the Transportation Security Administration, (TSA). WBI scanners are x-ray generators that are unable to see past the skin layer. Sandra Fish wrote in My Left Breast Put Fancy TSA Scanner to the Test, "If you have fake body parts, you should be prepared to explain them to the full-body screening folks at the TSA."^[2]

Theoretically it's possible to implant a bomb in breasts or body cavities. How will TSA plan to avert the next terrorist threat? Will the next growth industry be security breast and butt inspectors? PETN is hard to ignite but explodes under shock or friction. Will Mr. Whipple of Charmin commercials be training TSA not to squeeze hard but to perform a simple feel? The New Republic reported that, "The upside is that much of the blast from such a rear-end bomb would be absorbed by the terrorist's body."^[3]

Will airport security employ full body inspectors donned with arm length latex gloves that sing during inspections a parody of Arlo Guthrie's 'City of New Orleans', ♫ Bend Over America, ♪ How Are You ♫? Perhaps after a preliminary plain feel that doesn't feel natural such as surgically enhanced breasts or buttocks then a secondary inspection would most likely involve a sonogram, a non-intrusive, non-evasive harmless procedure. Of course the beautiful people of California would complain loudly about unfair profiling because of the higher proportion of people from Hollywood being targeted.

Of course this is ridiculous and silly if these types of procedures were enacted in an effort to increase airport security. Can sniffer dogs be the most effective way to avert implanted bombs? Working dogs are known to be able to smell diabetic symptoms, cancer and fear. An Explosive Detector Dog, (EED), could make a person experience fear producing an odor that the dog may react to. Perhaps as with the WBI inspectors hidden away from view of the people being scanned, the EED's may be situated behind a Glory Hole to avoid unwarranted humiliation by airplane passengers.

References

[1] Rhodri Phillips, "Radicals Deadly Booby Trap" the Sun 3.23.2010
[2]Sandra Fish, "My Left Breast Put Fancy TSA Scanner to the Test" politicsdaily.com 2.6.2010
[3] Michael Crowley, "The Butt Bomb" The New Republic 1.7.2010

Resources

http://abclocal.go.com/kabc/story?section=news/national_world&id=7257130
http://snarkybytes.com/?p=5515