Beyond the Wedding Present: Simple, Low-Budget Ways to Let the Newlyweds Know You Care

Everyone knows that weddings are one of the most hectic time periods in the life of the bride and groom. There's so much to do, and so little time.

As a friend or family member, you want them to know their day is special to you too. Everyone wants to choose the most memorable gift to give the loving couple, or to be involved in helping to plan wedding activities, bachelor or bachelorette parties, and bridal showers.

But for the bride and groom, the frenzy can be at its height in the days leading up to and during the wedding. And once they've set sail, driven off into the sunset, or stepped on a plane for their honeymoon, there may still be things they need taken care of back at home.

If you want to be a part of things and help the bride and groom, but don't have much of a budget, there are many things you can do during this critical time period. Here are a few ideas that will show them you care. Some of them will cost you nothing more than time.

Spend time with guests who don't know a lot of people at the reception.

At almost every wedding, there are guests who might feel a little out of place. They may be guests of the bridal party who haven't interacted much with the bride and groom's social circle, and who have to spend a lot of time waiting on the sidelines while their date participates in bridal party activities. They may be old friends who now live out of town and don't know many of the people in the couple's hometown life. Or they could be co-workers of the bride or groom who don't interact with them much outside of the workplace.

If you've ever been a bride or groom yourself, you know the time at the reception flies by. You want to spend time with everyone, but quickly find that you're lucky if you get to greet each guest and talk to them for a few minutes. Between thanking everyone and participating in all the ceremonial events such as first dances, toasts, bouquet tosses and parent/child dances, the new spouses barely have time to taste their own reception meal.

Before the wedding, ask the bride and groom about people on their guest list who might not have many other friends or family members in attendance. Volunteer to spend time with these people and make sure they feel involved and welcome and involved. All you need to do is engage them in simple conversation. Ask how they know the bride or groom, talk about the ceremony, and see if you have any interests in common.

The newlyweds will be relieved to know that these guests don't feel left out of the loop, and you may even make a new friend.

Distract guests who might have "issues" with each other.

Several months ago, the bride and groom got the brilliant idea of fixing up her single cousin with one of his closest friends. Things went great for a while, but their brief fling ended bitterly. Now, both the cousin and close friend are at the wedding.

If the bride or groom should choose to share any such scenarios to you, make a point to seek out these people. Chances are they aren't going to make a scene at the wedding, because they care about the new couple as much as you do. But even so, the awkwardness of the situation may have them feeling nervous or out of place. If you can distract one of them by taking him or her into your own social circle or just spending time talking about other things, you may help to put things at ease.

Entertain out-of-town guests before and after the wedding.

The groom is thrilled that his aunt, uncle and cousins from out of town are flying in for the wedding. The bride feels honored that her old friends from college are making the trek to the city where she now lives and works.

When people come from faraway to attend your wedding, you both want and feel obligated to spend extra time with them before and after the ceremony. But the truth is, there often just isn't time. The days leading up to the wedding are filled with last minute preparations, and perhaps you're leaving for your honeymoon directly after the ceremony or the next day.

Out-of-towners know that the bride and groom are extremely busy. But still, they can't help but feel a bit slighted that they've come all this way and don't get much time with the newlyweds.

Perhaps you can help alleviate the couple's stress and guilt and help the visitors enjoy their time in town. Offer to pick people up at the airport and drive them to their hotels, or to shuttle them back to the airport when the festivities are over.

If they're in town a few days before or after the wedding, offer to take them out to a few local tourist attractions, chauffer them to the local mall to pick up items they may have forgotten, or just go out for a bite to eat. Offer to take those who may be bored sitting home at night with older family members out and let them taste the local nightlife one evening. Have a simple cookout.

Any one of these things will make them feel cared for, help them turn the trip into a bit of a vacation, and take some worry off of the newlywed couple's shoulders.

Offer to care for pets, plants, etc. during the honeymoon.

When we plan vacations, one of the first things we normally think to do is arrange to have our obligations at home taken care of while we're away. But when the vacation is a honeymoon and comes right on the heels of the wedding, some of the very obvious details can slip through the cracks.

Are there pets that will need attended to while the couple is soaking up the sun at some tropical resort? Even if the parents of the groom have offered to care for Fido or Fluffy, you could promise to come over and walk the pup at time or two. Have they arranged to have someone water the plants or pick up the mail? If not, extend the offer.

Give the couple a honeymoon care package.

Even if the bride is the type who never leaves home without her essentials, a few things may slip her mind in the crazy pre-wedding days.

Put together a care package with travel sized shampoos and conditioners, toothpaste and toothbrushes, disposable razors and other personal care items. You might throw in a disposable camera, some cheap sunglasses, or some favorite snacks for the journey.

The newlyweds will think of you and smile when they can hit the beach right away instead of wandering around the resort in search of a drugstore.

Spend time with the parents of the bride or groom during the honeymoon.

Next to the bride and groom themselves, the parents of the couple are the ones who are usually most stressed during the pre-wedding frenzy. After the big day is over, they'll be exhausted. A few days along, they may feel a bit of a post-wedding letdown. Things have been so wedding-focused forever, and now all the sudden the party is over and the couple is off starting their new life together. It can be especially hard on parents if up until now the bride or groom has lived at home with them. Knowing that "daddy's little girl" or "the apple of momma's eye" won't be returning to the old childhood bedroom after the vacation is a bittersweet feeling.

You can't make that feeling go away. But you can help fill those first days with good times. If you know the parents of one of the newlyweds, offer to take them out for lunch or dinner. Go fishing with Dad or accompany Mom on a shopping trip. Maybe you can go out together and help her pick up little things she's sure her daughter will need in her new home.

Use your creative flair to give the couple a post-honeymoon present.

Those closest to the bride and groom start feeling the letdown after the wedding festivities are over. For the couple, reality hits after the honeymoon. For months, they were consumed with planning. Next there came a time of celebration with family and friends, followed by the vacation of a lifetime. Now, they're home again. The laundry needs done, the bills need paid, and its time to go back to the day job.

As happy as they are, that time can still feel a little sad. You can brighten it with a special gift to help them hold on to their special day.

Before the wedding, buy a small scrapbook. Bring a camera with you and take photos, and put them in the scrapbook along with fun captions and your own recollections of the day. Or consider asking as many guests as possible to write down a line or two on a question such as "what are your wishes for the bride and groom," "where do you see Joe and Cindy ten years from now," "what's your best one-line advice for making love last," or "what's your best memory of a time spent with the couple?"

If you're not much of a photographer or a scrapbooker, there are other things you can do.

Are you a writer? Create a simple poem about the wedding day, or your wishes for the couple now that they're in their new life together. Do you blog or keep an online journal? Write an entry discussing some of the fun happenings at the reception that the newlyweds may have missed and share it with them. Have a flair for graphic design? Offer to help the bride create unique and meaningful thank-you cards.

Are you the one in your circle of friends who has a green thumb? Plant a favorite flower in their new yard and provide them with tips for helping it thrive. Are you the cook in the crew? Give them an I.O.U. for some lessons on quick, easy and tasty meals.

Weddings are a hectic and frenzied time. But a new couple needs love, support and friendship when the big day is over as much or more than they did during the height of the celebration. Little gifts of time, kindness to their loved ones, and sentimental presents that will bring memories for years to come will be recalled fondly by the newlyweds and appreciated for years to come