Bill Engvall, Can I Borrow Some Signs?

For those not familiar with him, there's a comedian/actor named Bill Engvall who does these cute stories which he calls "Here's Your Sign." Now, I 'm not sure what the sign is supposed to say exactly, but my instinct tells me it's something like Goofball award or maybe even Stupid Award. I've never really heard him say, but he usually gives them out to people who miss the obvious. I'm thinking of contacting Mr. Engvall to see if I can borrow a couple. I think there are some prime candidates here.

The hubby and I were hungry, so we decided to try a new little shop in town called "Christy's Hamburgers. It's really hard to find an old-fashioned hamburger anymore. You know, the kind where they actually use ground meat, pat it out and stick it on the grill. We thought Christy might do that, so off we went.

I'm not sure how long Christy's has been opened, but we were a little suspicious when we arrived because out of approximately 25 or so tables, there was no one in the place except a couple of young girls who worked there. Walking up to the counter, the hubby ordered a cheeseburger basket. I said I'd take a hamburger basket. She looked me straight in the face and said, "Would you like cheese on that?" I looked at the hubby and grinned. My thought was, of course, I just thought it would be more interesting to order the burger and cheese separately. Make this girl a sign. Actually, makes this girl two signs.

As I was shaking my head over her confusion between a hamburger and a cheeseburger, the hubby reached for his wallet to pay the young lady. Her next question really caught me off guard because she said, "Your name, please?" I looked at the hubby, and we both turned around and looked at all the empty tables. We're the only two people in the place. She could have called out Bill Gates, and we would have responded. For that matter, she could have just called out "Food" and we would have got it. It wasn't like she was going to lose us in the crowd. And to top it off, she brought it to the table anyway. I thought Bill Engvall, where are you when I need to borrow a sign? Yeah, better give her two signs, Bill.

My favorite one this week, though, actually happened to my son who was having trouble with his truck. When the hubby went over and looked, he determined that the battery was dead. Down they went to the local AutoZone to see if the battery would hold a charge, or whether it was a goner. The man behind the counter took the battery and charged it while they ran some errands. When they returned, he informed them it wouldn't hold a charge. He then asked my son if the battery had a warranty.

My son couldn't remember but told him he'd bought it in another town. When the clerk checked, he said, "Oh, yeah, you have a free replacement battery? Would you like a new one?"

Would he like one? Let's see, that's keep a dead battery and push the truck around, or get a new free replacement battery and ride around in an air-conditioned truck? Hmmm. Hey, Bill, if ever someone deserved a sign, I think Mr. AutoZone does.