Bill Hicks Quotes: Comedian Takes on Weed, Religion and Life

Bill Hicks' quotes are either funny or about drugs. Sometimes they are both. The comedian has many quotes on weed and other drugs and actually does have a few solid points. But as with any comedian, the main objective is to be funny and that Bill Hicks often was. His quotes and jokes test mainstream beliefs. They may even go beyond testing them. He was a comedian, though. What did you expect from his jokes? Here are the top ten Bill Hicks quotes and jokes.

Bill Hicks Quotes #1 - What is he trying to say about funk bands?

"I don't do drugs anymore... than, say, the average touring funk band."

Bill Hicks Quotes #2 - Drugs are good

"If you don't think drugs have done good things for us, then take all of your records, tapes and CD's and burn them."

Bill Hicks Quotes #3 - Pain is funny

"It's always funny until someone gets hurt. Then it's just hilarious."

Bill Hicks Quotes #4 - But I have this coupon that say's it's free

"We all pay for life with death, so everything in between should be free."

Bill Hicks Quotes #5 - On Christians

"A lot of Christians wear crosses around their necks. You think when Jesus comes back he ever wants to see a fu**ing cross? It's like going up to Jackie Onassis wearing a rifle pendant."

Bill Hicks Quotes #6 - On life

"Life is only a dream and we are the imagination of ourselves."

Bill Hicks Quotes #7 - A stoner, not a fighter

"I have never seen two people on pot get in a fight because it is fucking IMPOSSIBLE. 'Hey, buddy!' 'Hey, what?' 'Ummmmmmm....' End of argument."

Bill Hicks Quotes #8 - We're a virus with shoes

"I'm tired of this back-slapping 'Isn't humanity neat?' bullshit. We're a virus with shoes, okay? That's all we are."

Bill Hicks Quotes #9 - Natural is illegal?

"Why is marijuana against the law? It grows naturally upon our planet. Doesn't the idea of making nature against the law seem to you a bit...unnatural?"

Bill Hicks Quotes #10 - No gnats for me, please

"I generally love my job. You know what the great thing about being a comic is? I have no boss. That's a definite lifestyle plus isnt it? Aren't bosses something? They're like gnats at a picnic man."

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