Birth Control and 13 Year Olds
Would You Give Your 13 Year Old Birth Control?
I do not believe that sex should be a taboo subject with your children. Parents should talk to their children about sex. But teaching our children that having sex at a young age is okay, is one of the reasons that there are so many teenage parents, single mothers, and dysfunctional families today. Saying, "They are going to do it anyway so why bother teaching them that they should wait to have sex," is sending our children the message that we have low expectations for them. And children will generally only have standards as high as their parents' expectations for them. So why set the bar so low??? Shouldn't we teach our children what is right even if there's a chance that they will not follow. At least then you know you have done your job as a parent right, and you have done all you can to instill good morals in your child.
Yes, it is true that you cannot stop a teenager from having sex if they are determined. But doesn't that say something about your parenting if your child feels okay about going off and having sex at the age of 13 or 14. What happened to morals? Don't parents still teach them to their kids? It seems like parents just expect that doing the right thing is instinctive or something. Well, I have news for you. It is not instinctive. It is something that has to be taught. Our children are never going to know the difference between right and wrong unless we tell them from the very beginning. Doesn't a toddler believe that it is okay to hit someone? We have to teach them it is not okay. It is the same thing with our teenagers and sex. If no ever teaches them that it is wrong then of course they are going to do it.
It is time that we start taking some pride in our job as parents. Teach your child what is right. Don't just let them do what they want just because you have no control over their decisions. It's not about being able to control their decision to have sex. It's about teaching them how to make the right decision when the temptation comes.
Reward their good behavior. Punish the bad behavior. These are basics. I don't know why someone would be a parent in the first place if they cannot discipline their child when they do something wrong. But I guess that is because there is a whole other issue at work here.
Parents need to set the example. If you sleep around or talk about sex like it is some kind of game, your children will catch on and adopt this sleazy attitude. Parents must first set the example, then they must teach it to their children or the world's morals will just continue to deteriorate.
Published by Char Baiz
I am a young opinionated woman who greatly appriciates a healthy argument. I am married to the man of my dreams and we have 4 beautiful children. I love to write about anything that strikes me. I can be inte... View profile
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10 Comments
Post a CommentIama13yearoldgirlandhereisthethingwithallofyou...stupid...parents.Itsgoingtohappenwetherulikeitornot.Andwhenwearehavingsex...weareNOTthinkingaboutyou.WhenIstartedmyperiodwhenIwas9,mymomboughtmecondoms,2boxesofthedayafterpill,gotmeonbithcontrolandboughtmeavibrater.Shetoldmethatshesnotgoingtobeabletocontrolit,anditsnotherchoice...butshhemightaswellhelpmetryandbesafe.Mineandmymothersrelationshipisthenever.Andletmetellyou,Iama13yearoldgirlandgettingreadytoturn14inmarch,Iamstillavirgin.Sometimestheproblemlieswiththeparentandnotthechild.Kindalikewhenparentssurroundtheyrekids,andhoversoverthem,readsovershoulder..thosekidsgrowuptobeserialkillers,andrapist.GoodLuck.
In my cases I helped raise my niece until the age of 6, i begged her mother to let me raise her, hr mom took her away.......now 7 yrs later she is sexually active (13yrs) and unruly, mom recently called me and asked me to take her in because she can't handle her... So I want to put her on BC and get her Therapy, she goes to church every Sunday and I speak of morals on a daily basis, I also set the example of a moral based woman, what else can be done?
Look you may think you have raised your daughters right or if you are open and honest with her about sex that she won't do it. Your wrong now I'm not saying in all cases but your children are going to do what they want regardless. All I can say is just make your daughters aware and prepare them for what they might face... and please just teach them about contraceptives don't wait till its to late.
continueing last post- born. My mom would go so far as to take me out of being homeschooled(I'm Homeschooled)until I have the baby.Then I could be Homeschooled again,that would be my punishment for having sex and getting pregnant.
Olivia Leigh Pohren
Okay I just wanted to add my opinion. I am currently 13 years 3 months and something days old, My mother has drilled it into my head since I can remember not to have sex until I'm married and all that stuff and if I do be protected. (That way you know the guy is in love with you and not just in it for sex)(even though some men will go as far as marriage for sex, you'll have a better chance and My religin also says it's a sin to have sex before marriage) And I'm going to wait until I'm older anyway but I, being 13 myself, know that people in my classes are having sex. I think about having sex too, but I figure no matter how much I want to,I should be prepared to be a mother before I do because there is always a chance I could get pregnant. Even though I am very mature for my age,
I'm not ready to be a mother of all things. I had a friend who thought she was pregnant at 11 years old, and I knew someone in my class who had a 5-month old baby when I met her,she was 12,so she got preg
@anomynous: I truly believe that people make all of their decisions based on a combination of heredity & environment (this is a philosophical belief called determinism).
A child is raised in an environment that tells them that sex is not okay before marriage, will eventually come to a point in their life where they are presented with the opportunity to defy their parents teachings.
At this point they will make their decision based on the difference their desire & their fear (their desire to have sex conflicts with their fear of being a bad person/defying their parents etc..).
Based on their heredity & environment they will choose. So if their desire outweights their fear of disobeying their parents, then they will choose to have sex. This is a sign that they something in their environment (not always being thier parents) has caused them to desire sex more than they fear punishment or the idea of disobeying parents.
It is never 100% the parents fault for their childrens decision
We have raised our children in a Christian home and to know that sex was meant for their spouse and was something special. That you just didn't give it away. They were taught self-control. Now our 13 yr daughtr is doing it. Don't try and tell me that it's all in the upbringing. You are being very judgemental. They will do what they want. In this society and school, they are taught that they have all of the rights of an adult and the parents better not get in their way because they have the Government on their side....and don't tell me the lack of communication is the problem. Our children tell us everything, even the fact that they want to have sex and they are going to do it regardless of want we tell them.
I agree with you. I have heard parents who say they will put their daughter on birth control as soon as she gets her first period... this is nuts! Sex should not be taboo. We should educate our daughters as to the risks and help them make informed choices, rather than pumping them full of synthetic hormones that can cause harmful changes in their young bodies. Our society feels a need to give a pill to solve every problem, and it's just not practical. Education is the most important thing.
As a teen mother, I still agree with you for the most part. I had my son when I was 17. My parents didn't put me on birth control (obviously). With my kids, I plan on following their cues. When they start having relationships, then we will talk about it, and do what they want. I agree with Cindy, though, a 13 yr old shouldn't have enough freedom to have the opportunity to have sex. I know mine won't. 16+ We'll see when the time comes. Communication is key.
I agree with you. My daughter is 13 and no way would she have sex. For one thing she is not out of my site long enough and for another she knows right and wrong. Now when she is 16 or 17 I might get Birth Control for her just to be safe. My parents raised me where I knew better than to have sex. Me and my sisters were scared or the punishment and the idea of disapointing our parents. Maybe the world needs more of that.