Birth Story

When I was 21 years old and a full time college student/ part time waitress I found out that I was pregnant. It was scary but I didn't allow myself to become upset. For me personally there was no other option but to have and keep the baby. So, I pushed away all negative feeling and started to get excited about becoming a mommy.

The day that I conceived happen to my first day at a job I had been trying to get to for a long time at the fifties style restaurant, Mel's Diner. Unfortunately, shortly after finding out that I was pregnant (at about four weeks) I started getting really bad morning sickness. It didn't stay morning sickness for long. I was becoming more and more ill with each passing day.

When I went in for my second prenatal appointment and first ultrasound I got some news that was shocking to say the least. The nurse practitioner who was going to be handling my prenatal care told me that I had tested positive for syphilis. Then she told me that I did not actually have syphilis because only one of two tests came back positive. She then proceeded to explain that something else must have been going on with by body to cause the false positive result. Before I left that day they took blood and planned to run a battery of tests. I really didn't worry about it.

A few weeks went by and I was sicker than ever. One morning my mother had taken come over to help me clean and do the things that I had been to sick to do (I was living alone). We were at the laundry mat when I received a call on my cell from a number I didn't recognize. It was a woman who said she was calling from Dr. Downs's office to schedule my next prenatal appointment. Confused I asked her why my doctor was being switched. Her reply was, "because of your high risk pregnancy." More confused I asked her why I was considered high risk. "Well because you have Lupus," she said bluntly. It took the air right out of me. Not knowing what Lupus was I asked her what she was talking about. She said, "well, it's a disease, I thought you knew, maybe you should call your doctor." By this point I freaking out, crying and soon after vomiting in a near by trash can. She apologized for upsetting me.

After I calmed down I called the nurse practitioner I had originally seen and she explained to me that I had several abnormalities in my blood work and she though it was most likely Lupus. There is no one conclusive test to determine whether or not a person has Lupus. So I started researching lupus and learned that it is autoimmune disease that causes inflammation of the joints, skin and/or organs and can range from mild to deadly. While there is no cure there are a few treatment options (none of which are very good). The more I learned about the disease the more it made sense. Beginning at the age of 15 I began to suffer unexplained bouts of illness. Each time doctors would run a few tests and eventually I would get better without ever identifying the cause of my illness.

When I met with Dr. Downs for the first time he further explained the disease and how it is diagnosed further. He told me that I might have Lupus but that it was not certain and that he though right now it would be best to just focus on getting through my pregnancy that to stress myself out about the possibility of Lupus. From this point on the doctors referred to my illness as "a Lupus like syndrome". I was also told that because of my "condition" my pregnancy would need to be closely monitored as I was at high risk for preeclampsia and premature birth. From this point on I was seen every two weeks. Because I was so sick at this point my doctor told me that I could go on pregnancy disability at any time. I told him that financially I was not able to stop working (something I now deeply regret). So, he gave me a note to take two weeks off, hoping that as I got further along in my pregnancy I would start to feel better.

Well, when I came back to work from my two weeks off I was sicker than ever. But, I never actually got to go back to work. My boss called me in and told me that because I had not completed my new employee probation yet corporate told him that he had to fire me. I was crushed; I loved the job and was really good at. To top it all of I was pregnant, extremely sick and had $800 a month rent to pay, not to mention everything I needed to buy for the baby.

Eventually I got a job in retail. Luckily, I worked in the shoes department, so when I got sick I could run into the stock room and puke in trash can. By this time I was unbearably sick. I once threw up 16 times in an 8 hour shift. So I finally caved and went on maternity leave (I was about six months along). Less than a week later I was on bed rest.

By this time I had developed preeclampsia and 4+ protein in my urine and the baby was smaller that she should be. The doctor told me that I was not going to be able to make it to full term. My family, worried that the baby wouldn't make it, postponed my baby shower. I started going to the doctors three times a week. I was taught to monitor my blood pressure and protein at home. Each morning a nurse would call my house to find out my levels. I started experiencing sever headaches and blurry vision. After being told by the nurses to go into labor and delivery about 10 separate times they decided to admit me to the hospital on bed rest until I delivered (I was 36 weeks along).

One morning, when I was 38 weeks along, the nurse came in to do my daily heart rate monitoring. The baby's heart rate wasn't fluctuating like it should. They monitored for about 4 hours and it still had fluctuated much. I told the nurse I had not felt the baby move all morning. She decided to call the doctor in to do an ultrasound. He did an hour long ultrasound and the baby did not move. He told me to call me family and tell them to come to the hospital. Once my mother and sister arrived I was taken in a wheel chair to have an official ultra sound done in radiology. Another hour long ultrasound and still there was no movement. Up until this point I had been holding myself together and not allowing myself to cry. I was worried if I became upset the doctors wouldn't tell me what was going on. I couldn't hold it in anymore I started sobbing and asking my mom, "why won't my baby move, why won't she just move?"

When I got back to my hospital room I looked down the hall to see a flood of nurses and doctors running down the hall. Less than ten min. later I had had a spinal tap and they were beginning my c-section. The doctor warned me that they did not know the condition of the baby and that I would not be able to see her after she was born because she would need to go straight to the nursery. A few min. later she was born. I could see the doctors working on her and I wasn't sure whether or not she was alive.

Well, on August 8, 2006 my Carolyn was born weighing 2 lbs. 12oz. and 11 in. long. She was small but healthy. The doctors who delivered her told me that my placenta was full of blood clots which had prevented her form getting the nutrient she needed which is why she stopped moving. They also told me that if she had not been delivered she probably would have died within half an hour. So, needless to say she is my miracle baby. A month later she weighed 4lbs and I able to take her home. She has never had any health problems as a result of being premature.

On December 2, 2006 I was officially diagnosed with Lupus and also told that I would not be able to have anymore children. There was also damage done to my kidneys during the pregnancy but they are slowing healing. It has been a long road, but I have my precious gift from God and I am dealing with Lupus one day at a time.