Bisexuality - Not Just a Phase

A child becomes a teen and starts feeling the effects of all of those wonderful sex hormones. Suddenly those of the opposite gender start looking mighty appealing, or maybe, in about ten percent of the population, those of the same gender. What about the teen who suddenly finds everyone sexually stimulating?

When "Jane" confesses to her mom or her best friend or her older sister that not only does she like "Mike", she finds "Sally" attractive too, the response is often that this is a phase that she is going through. Don't worry, many teens go through this, she is told. It will pass, and you will be able to turn away from those of the same sex and embrace your passion for the opposite sex one hundred percent. But is this the reality? Is Jane going through a phase, or is this really who she is?

Most people admit to feeling sexual attraction for someone of the same sex at some time in their lives. This seems to be more the norm than the exception. To tell teens or anyone else that what they are feeling is a phase is a disservice. Many do turn away from these feelings. It is the easy thing for some to do, to follow what society shows as more the norm, dating those of the opposite sex or even the same sex if you do that exclusively and have no other choice. This does not make it the best thing though. Feelings and attractions are real. Teens should be encouraged to accept their feelings and to grow into who they really are, not who society wants them to be.

Bisexuals are often described as wishy-washy by both heterosexuals and homosexuals. There is a pressure to take sides, and to label and define who we are. Bisexuality is not an easy label to carry. The truth is though that very few people (if any) could be described as one hundred percent heterosexual or homosexual. Bisexuals may just be doing a better job at embracing the reality of whom they are.

Recently there has been a crop of celebrities who have come out as bisexual. Although this has led to the public being more aware of bisexuality and on the surface accepting it more, it also tends to belittle this orientation. As stars have same sex flings and then return to heterosexual relationships, it can reinforce the "bisexuality is a phase" stereotype. Those who have feelings for both sexes need understanding and support for their feelings. Labeling their sexuality a phase will not help them to grow into mature, confident adults, but may lead them to repressing parts of themselves for decades until they can find a time and place to be comfortable with whom they really are.