Black Friday Rules

As we all know tomorrow is Black Friday. Once a year where the young actually get up before the sun rises, and the old become feisty hooligans, looking to snatch that crock pot out of your cart the moment you look the other direction. Since this day can seem a little unstructured and anarchic, I decided that I would share a set of rules that I follow before going out.

Rule # 1: Get up early. (The early bird get the worm. Although giving a worm as a gift may seem like a gross metaphor, it really does describe how important it is to get there early. If you show up late you will be left with the discarded worms that nobody wants).

Rule # 2: Be prepared. (know the stores catalog inside and out! Its a mad world inside those stores and you have to know your way around, or you will loose the race (yes ladies that means compass! or GPS). Also protective padding or a football helmet never hurts).

Rule # 3: Show no mercy! (Just because they might be a sweet looking one legged grandma, doesn't mean that they are not a secret present pirate). If someone says: "ooh sunny can you help me pick up my nickel that just fell out of my purse?, and then she continues to describe how it was passed on by her great great great granddad Lincoln Abraham, and that she carries it for a good luck charm. Remember the more information they give, the more it smells like a lie. Shop with one eye on the gifts, and the other eyes on everyone else, better yet bring a pair of glasses, that way you will have 4 eyes).

Rule # 4: Have fun. (Remember that is is just stuff we are shopping for, and it contains nothing of permanent value. For instance, remember the Tickling Elmo doll a few years back that adults literally got into fights over? well look at the value of those dolls now; I remember seeing one over the summer at a garage sell for a whopping .25 cents. The value of the presents usually isn't worth the amount of headaches you will receive. I like to look at the event as nothing more than a game of Monopoly. If you land on a certain area and want to buy the property (substitute property for a black Friday item) then you buy it, but if for some chance someone else lands on it first, then have the choice to buy it later, but you will have to buy it at a higher cost).

Although black Friday may seem like a hectic time to go shopping, by following these rules you can turn that day into an artesian shopping experience of beautiful ordered chaos. Happy shopping and remember to be safe.