Black Men Speak Out About Natural Hair or Permed Hair for Black Women, Who Likes What?

On Sept. 30, 2009, comedian Chris Rock was on "The Oprah Winfrey Show" talking about his upcoming movie "Good Hair." Rock was impressed with Oprah Winfrey letting him run his fingers through her long hair and kept repeating, "That's rich," to her. But oddly enough, and as shocked as he was that Oprah had a full head of healthy, long hair without any weave or extension help, he stated later in the show that black women get their hair done for each other, not men.

Then Chris Rock went on to say, "Men do not care. There's no point in the history of the world where men were not sleeping with the women in front of them. Black men don't care about no hair. Black men care about this." He grabbed his butt and then said, "Black men are all about the behind."

But from Rock's impressed reaction to Oprah Winfrey's hair, I wondered if he was completely telling the truth. Do black men really not care about hair as much as he says they don't?

So I asked nine black men about the top five physical traits that they look for in a black woman, their views on women's hair and these were the results.

Top Five Physical Features Black Men Look For In Black Women (in order of importance):

Name: Alvin B.

Age: 26

Location: Chicago

Profession: Graphic designer and deejay for Fig Media

Top Five Traits: Eyes, lips, breasts, "good proportion" butt, legs

Name:Brandon F.

Age: 21

Location: Boston, MA

Profession: English Educator

Top Five Traits: Lips, teeth, breasts, legs, hair

Name:Glenn Gamble (pen name)

Age: 28

Location: Chicago

Profession: Author of "A Thousand Chances"

Top Five Traits: Chocolate complexion, "nice round" derriere, teeth, medium-to-long hair, "sorta thick to thin...I don't like 'em real heavy"

Name: Jeff S.

Age: 37

Location: Chicago

Profession: Sales representative with Bolt-On Wireless

Top Five Traits: Legs, smile, behind, hair, dark brown skin color

Name:Justin M.

Age: 28

Location: Champaign, IL

Profession: Owner of real estate company, Schwaps

Top Five Traits: Athletic legs, "proportionate" breasts, teeth, "proportionate" booty, real hair "even if you're bald-headed"

Name: Lendsey V.

Age: 34

Location: Chicago

Profession: Co-owner of Xtreme Kutts & Visions barbershop

Top Five Traits: Smile, clean face, big butts, "no cottage cheese" on legs, long hair

Name: Shuntal W.

Age: 34

Location: Atlanta, GA

Profession: Accounting Clerk

Top Five Traits: Darker skin complexion; "proportionate" backside; breasts "that don't make you look like a man and not too big, not too small"; not taller than 6'2 (Shuntal's height); lips

Name:Stacey L. Moor (pen name)

Age: 29

Location: Central New Jersey

Profession: Author of "It's Me Again"

Top Five Traits: Tall women "5'6 or better," eyes, lips, breasts, legs

Name: Stephen B.

Age: 37

Location: Chicago

Profession: Owner of Bolt-On Wireless

Top Five Traits: Derriere, smooth skin tone, "full" lips, tastefully dressed, neat hair

Six out of nine men interviewed said "hair" was one of their top five physical traits, and even the ones who didn't select hair in their top five had strong opinions on hair, not so much the style but the appearance. So I asked the following questions: Would you date a woman who didn't get her hair professionally done on a regular basis (ex. bi-weekly or monthly)? Do you prefer perms to natural hairstyles or short hair to long hair? Do you think black women get their hair done for men or for themselves?

Here are their responses:

"I prefer natural hair over non-natural," Alvin B. said. "Perming, then weaves, then wigs are unattractive. It's not a deal breaker, but it would be nice for a woman to have natural hair. I'm so accustomed to seeing women with non-natural hair, but when I'm on the street and see someone with really nice 'locs or a really nice 'fro, it stops me in my tracks like "Oh s-t." [Natural hair] stops me in a way that women with weave would never stop me in my tracks. I have no preference for long or short hair, as long as they can rock it either way. I have a 'fro, and I go to a barber maybe once every two and a half months, so it doesn't matter to me whether she gets her hair done professionally, as long as she cares about her appearance. She can work out her own regimen, whatever works for her. It's not for me to dictate."

"Hair is very interesting," Brandon F. said. "I'm definitely not going to discriminate. If you have long hair or you have weave, that's fine, as long as it looks nice. As a man, I don't know hair. If I look at your hair, and it happens to have weave, that means that it's all messed up. I don't know the ins and outs of that area at all so if I'm looking like 'Whoa,' that means there's a problem and you need to fix that. I would date a woman with a natural if it looked good, but not every girl can wear naturals or braids. Sometimes it just wouldn't even look right. I love a woman with short hair because I feel that when you look beautiful and have short hair, I feel like you possess natural beauty because a lot of women can look gorgeous with long hair, but not a lot of women can pull off short hair and look sexy. I think women should get their hair done monthly. A man usually has to get a haircut every two weeks...I want her to be attractive, especially if we've hit that marriage stage. You've still got to look good for me...got to keep it fresh and new. You can't rock the ponytail all the time. I want to see your hair done. I want to see you beautiful."

"If a woman is wearing a natural and cared for her hair, I'd definitely date her," Glenn G. said. "I'm not crazy about pineapple styles or extravagant styles or hair weaves-I prefer to know what my woman is working with as opposed to finding out six months down the line. I like women with a healthy head of hair. If she's a cutie with a natural, I'll take her natural. If she looks good and preferred to get her hair permed, that works too. I just like the way long hair looks...it doesn't matter if it's permed or not. I like [long hair] much better than short hair."

"When you see a woman...and her hair doesn't have to have a particular style...if her hair is well-kept, it tells me that she keeps herself together," Jeff S. said. "I would date a woman who didn't get her hair done regularly. She can have the natural look. It can be like an afro that's just puffed out. If it looks nice and kept up, cool, no problem. I don't have a preference about whether she has a perm or not."

"I'm not a fan of weave," Justin M. said. "If I see a wig or a weave, it's kinda symbolic to me that it's not 100 percent you. I don't even like artificial nails, nothing artificial. Make-up is cool, but artificial stuff, I'm not a fan. I like nicely styled, natural hair. I don't even care if you're bald-headed, I like what's yours. If you can't grow long hair, rock whatever you got and make sure it's nice. She doesn't have to get it done [professionally], but it has to be maintained. I would prefer a black woman that had a perm, but I wouldn't count out a woman with natural hair but it would take some getting used to. Even if her hair was short with waves like mine, I couldn't get over the fact that we had the same hairstyle. That might be a deal killer, but some women can pull natural hair off."

"As long as she kept it decent, it don't have to be [professionally] done, but you've got to comb it," Lendsey V. said. "Every woman does not wear short hair nicely. It is some women with short hair who look nice. Don't get me wrong. Me, personally, I don't know. I just don't like short hair. They can have long dreadlocks. I'm cool with that."

"The features I named, they're not going anywhere without surgery," Shuntal W. said. "A woman can always do her hair. It may look bad one day, but she can always go to a beauty shop the next day to look like Beyonce. Some people can't afford to get their hair done on a regular basis, but as long as they keep it up, that's cool. All hairstyles don't look right on all women. I have no big preference from natural to permed. Some women look great with a natural and terrible with a perm, and some women look great with a perm and terrible with a natural. [Hair length] also depends on the woman. Women get their hair done more for themselves than for men. A woman can get a man with a nappy head, let's be real. Not too many men will turn down a woman because her hair is not done. Women know this. Of course they like to look good for us, but ultimately a woman will get her hair done just to go home and sit with her cat."

"Hair is not a main thing for me," Stacey L. Moor said. "Women could put weaves in and be bald-headed and look like a completely different person the next day or 20 minutes later. As long as you know how to do it and it's done, let's go! I have dated a woman who wouldn't get her hair done regularly, and it pissed me off. You can't wear a ponytail for everything. If I got on a suit and you have on a dress and high heels, but your hair is like 'poof!' but you say you don't have the money to get it done and won't let me pay for it, it's different. You have to give and take. Your appearance is important. But how often she gets her hair done depends on the style. If she has 'locs, you can usually just twist those. But if it looks crazy for a whole month, I probably wouldn't date her. If it's manageable or you got a curling iron or a flat iron so you can work it out, then fine. You don't have to get it done at a shop, but it has to be presentable. If you have an afro and it looks like armpit hair, it's not going to work. It really depends on the style. Sometimes women get perms and their hair looks even worse. I don't have a preference as long as it fits the person I'm dating. But if a woman walked up to me with a wig, I'd probably talk to it before I talked to her. I know. Men can tell!"

"I don't mind the dreads and the twist style, but I like a woman to have her kitchen cleaned," Stephen B. said. "I don't need her hair in a particular hairstyle, but I like it neat, whether it's a permed hairstyle or dread hairstyle. I wouldn't care where she had it done, she just needs to keep it done. I wouldn't care if her sister did it. I like a woman who has healthy, styled hair. It doesn't have to be a traditional style, a natural style. I don't like a woman with her hair all over her head. I like long hair and short hair, but I can't think of myself ever telling a woman 'Oooh, I want you to cut your hair.' The only women I'd hesitate on would be women who wear the fades. [Natural] hair wouldn't be my first choice, but I've found myself attracted to women who have shorter and natural hairstyles. I think women need to know how to wear their hair, meaning if you have hair that's less straight, a little more kinky, a little more true to your black roots, as long as it's neat, fitting and taken care of, just make sure it's not dry and brittle and breaking. Keep the kitchen clean."

Additional Notes: This entry was originally published by the Chicago Black Hair & Health Examiner.