"Black Swan" Made Me Laugh Whatever Roger Ebert Says
Barbara Hershey's Parenting: Barbara Hershey makes Joan Crawford look laid back even though Roger Ebert says her "shortcomings are not signaled." To celebrate her daughter's (Natalie Portman) being cast as the swan queen of the ballet, she buys a cake big enough for 25 people when it's just the 2 of them. Then, when Portman declines to eat half the cake, she dumps it in the trash. This should be a clue that Portman may not make a good witness either.
Bad Advice on Ballet Careers: Natalie Portman gets the lead role because her kiss impressed the ballet director. She also follows his advice to masturbate to prepare for her role. This may not be reliable advice for an aspiring dancer.
Winona Ryder's Employment Prospects: How come a football player can get caught torturing dogs without harming his career, but an actress who shoplifts remains unemployed or gets cast as a dying swan? Plus, Ryder is only 40 so what's with that menopause joke?
Bad Hospital Management: After the ballet company dumps her, poor Winona Ryder lands in an expensive psychiatric hospital. Unfortunately, the facility appears to have only one nurse. Even worse, she takes no interest in visitors coming over in the middle of the night and bringing knives.
Confused Editing: In just one example, Natalie Portman goes out to a bar with another dancer (Mila Kunis). She sees Kunis pour powder into her drink, and asks if the drug really lasts less than 2 hours. But, the next day, she indignantly asks Kunis if her drink was spiked. Given that this creates the opportunity for a hot lesbian sex scene, maybe no one questioned it too closely.
When Nail Clippers Attack: Both Portman and her mother wield a mean nail clipper. In addition to hallucinating, the daughter expresses anxiety by scratching herself excessively. Got to tell you that having my nails hacked off wouldn't calm me down.
Good and Evil In Us All: Lots of critics including Roger Ebert seem to think "Black Swan" delivered a serious message about good and evil. I'm not even sure how Natalie Portman represented anything especially virtuous. She was just repressed.
Roger Ebert liked the "Black Swan" movie so maybe you will too, but watch out for those nail clippers.
Published by Anne Wright
Freelance writer and longtime student of Buddhism and nonprofit professional. As an AC Featured Arts & Entertainment Contributor, she draws on her experience in development and managerial positions with n... View profile
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6 Comments
Post a CommentThank you so much for this.. I could not sleep for days after watching this film.. I wanted to scratch my head is there anything in the film.. One of the most overrated films ever.. Was there a story?
I thought the movie was rather dreary and confused, even though Portman's acting is wonderful. I say "confused" because it is not clear whether Portman's character is already crazy, or is driven crazy by her obsession with the Swan role. Her character suffers from hallucinations (among other problems), so it seems the story is not about suffering for art, but about the obsessions of a mentally ill dancer. And that's dreary.
I saw the film tonight. In many ways it was a beautiful, engaging, intelligent film. In other ways, it was a hoot!
I have been on the fence -- not sure whether I should see this one in the theater or not. Your article makes me want to see it more than I previously thought!
This sounds terrible!
very cool