Blame & Responsibility

© Frank J. Ball Sr. Thursday May 3^rd, 2007

all rights owned by Frank J. Ball Sr. All rights reserved. Written permission must be secured from owner to use or reproduce this material.

I have been thinking about writing this for several day now, ever since I read a very dear friend of mines Blog. I won't name her but I am sure after reading this, she will leave a good comment, because we both think alike on this subject.

Now I do believe I will piss off many or most of the people I know from my generation with what I am about to write. People who as teens came out of the 60's and 70's. But truth be told, we are in direct responsibility for the condition that our society has become.

I am not sure if we smoked too much pot, did too many mushrooms, went tripping on LSD and saw the colored lights too many times. I am not sure if we spent to many times at concerts, high as kites, having our brains pummeled with the beat of drums and guitars, watching guys bite the heads off bats. Or if the free love lifestyle of the 60's and 70's, "If you can't be with the one you love, then love the one your with", warped our brains, but something in our generation changed America forever.

Liberal ideas started popping up on college campuses everywhere. Self awareness, self-help and blaming others for our problems started to become the mind-set. Liberal lawyers and liberal psychologists started telling criminals, courts and juries, that their clients were not to blame for their crimes, it was their terrible childhood, their bad mother, their rotten uncle, their mis-guided priest. Everyone else was responsible, not their poor client who had suffered these things.

The liberal lawyers would come up with anything and everything to get their clients off, even to the point of disgracing or questioning the victim. "Why were you at the ATM machine at 2am, you were just asking to be mugged, weren't you?" To make matters worse, this new crowd of liberal psychologists, pampered and coddled criminals, telling them they were not to blame, it was a bad childhood, or because there was no daddy in the picture, then these same psychologists would get liberal politicians to approve government programs that would place people (criminals) with problems into the psychologists care, giving them funding and jobs. Of course they will find problems in someone's past that needs help, it keeps them employed.

Well, this action has just snow balled over the decades since our generation started it. Now everyone seeks to blame someone else for everything. We have created a generation of people who believe you don't have to work hard, everyone owes you something. Liberals always seeking a reason behind why someone does something bad. After a child is abducted and killed, and the skinny old pervert is caught, you can turn on Fox News Network and hour after hour for day after day, watch the battery of specialists come on trying to give reason as to why this old man might do such a thing. They will give speech after speech about what therapy should be used to help this man.

Well I am sorry, this might make a lot of you mad right now, the liberal specialists have their heads up their ass. The reason the guy did it was because he is a cold hearted nasty pervert. Bottom line. The therapy that should be used, is that he should be executed, that way he will never hurt or kill another child. Bottom Line, no days of boring discussion needed. No reason or blame as to why he did it. He did, he was caught, no liberal ideas needed. The mother and father of the child he killed don't want to know that he did it because ________, they want justice for their child. They don't want a liberal lawyer getting this pervert off, or sent to some mental hospital on a technicality, they want justice.

As the years have gone by, things have just gotten worse. Several years back the school shootings at Columbine High School to the recent shootings up in Virginia , liberal psychologists have tried to delve into the minds of these young shooters. The Columbine shooters, they say were outcasts, picked on, you know what I say "BULL$%^^" . I went through kindergarten, grammar school, and high school with the last name Ball, and let me tell you kids are cruel. I got picked on and teased about my name, I got into fights, some I won, some I lost. The fights I lost, I never once thought about coming back the next day with a gun and blowing away my classmates. The days I got picked on, and I heard every use and term that Ball can be applied to, I never thought about blowing those kids away. I have many cousins in and around the same age, who probably went through similar things, and none of my cousins, even my weird cousin who had to go through life with the name Dick Ball, never came back to school with a gun a blew their classmates away.

Blame and Responsibility at some point in your life, you have to look at your actions, and take blame and quit trying to lay it on someone else. Now I am not saying everything in life is your fault. If you are sitting at a traffic light minding your own business waiting for it to turn green and you get rear ended, surely the guy who plowed into you from behind is to blame. But if you go to the mall and kill 30 people, just because your priest molested you 20 years earlier, it is not the priest fault. He was at fault when he molested you, but when you chose to go to the mall 20 years later and kill 30 people, that was by your choice and you are totally to blame.

Now getting to why I wanted to write this article, I was reading my dear friends blog the other day titled "Quit Blaming Myspace" , in her blog she wrote about a news feature that was on Nightline in the beginning of the week. On Nightline it was reported that "Tom" creator of myspace, and Myspace.com were being sued by the mother of a 14 year old who had been sexually assaulted by another myspace user, the mother and daughter were suing for 30 million dollars. The reason, because myspace did not have enough security measures in place to prevent this from happening.

Nightline also reported, that the girl was misled by the boy in question, because on his myspace profile he claimed to be a football player at the high school. Then Nightline, as like many other media sources, brought on it's band of liberal blame laying specialists, who made statements that myspace is just a breeding ground for sexual predators, lurking and luring young girls into destruction.

Another young 14 year old girl interviewed, said that she used myspace to find drug dealers and older guys to have sex with in her town. So the liberal specialists then lay blame and made statements that myspace is a breeding ground for illegal activities.

What a crock of CRAP!!!! Tom get yourself some very good lawyers, and trash the hell out of this money grubbing mother trying to steal your 30 million. And YES I said steal. That is exactly what she is trying to do!!!!! That mother is trying to lay blame on you for her irresponsibility as a mother. If her 14 year old child was sexually assaulted by another myspace user, it was the mothers fault. Now many of you may very well get pissed off at what I am about to say, but so be it, this has needed to be said for way to long!!!!!!!

Many or most of my peers, the people 40+, grew up in strict house holds. Many or most of my peers that were teens in the 60's and 70's came out of that period questioning and rebelling against authority. As they became parents, they did not want to be strict parents like theirs had been, They wanted to be buddies, friends with their children, they didn't want to spank or ground or deny self-expression. They were afraid to say "NO" or "You can't have that" they wanted to give their children everything and anything that they did not have. They thought that a good discussion could replace a spanking. That time out could replace grounding. The people of my generation who were becoming parents, were loosing common sense and becoming wimps, letting their children do anything they wished, self-express anyplace they wanted.

This attitude of child rearing has now snow balled, from generation to generation, that now we have children that have been born into a world of apathy and self-indulgence. Life as they know it is all about them and everything society owes them. A lack of concern and a "whatever" attitude are rampant. They live for today with no thoughts of the outcome or what will be tomorrow. Broken families, shameless media, blaming others for our stupid mistakes and our parenting mind-set of "I want my kid to have everything I never had" have turned out a generation with a lost conscience and an indifference to their fellow man.

We have dead-beat fathers and dead-beat mothers, who are just baby factories creating children, and leaving them to fend for themselves. Don't dare use the excuse "I am a single parent, it is too hard". That won't fly with me, I was a single parent for many years, I took custody of my 2 oldest children when they were 2 & 4 and I have raised them their whole life, they are now almost 19 and 17. I did not give in, I knew how to say "NO", I knew when to spank and when to talk.

Today we have technology out the ying-yang, cell phones, pc's, laptops, IPOD's anything and everything one can imagine. We are giving free access to all of it to our children, with no limitations, no restrictions, no questions. We are afraid to say "NO". We want to give our child everything we never had. TV, the media, advertiser's have no morals, they show anything and everything and push the limits each and every day to see what we will accept and allow to pass through our homes. And still we give our children free reign and access to TV, watching anything and everything that comes across the cable or satellite dish.

The other day I was out at the store with my nine year old, and while we were wandering down an isle, we came across a friend of hers from "church youth group". So that would put this young lady in the 8 to 10 year old age range. This girl was chatting away on a cell phone, and from what I heard of the conversation it was about a boy in school, and was in a manner that a girl 8 to 10 should not even be thinking about, (kissing, using tongues) her manner of dress included a skirt that was about 2 sizes to short, a belly shirt, that revealed a clip on belly ring (at least I hope it was a clip on and not a piercing) and more make up then you might see on a Vegas showgirl.

My wife and I home-school our youngest daughter, so she won't encounter this type of crap. Needless to say, when "youth group" breaks for the summer on May 23^rd, she won't be returning in the fall. We will replace it with some type of family activity.

My oldest daughter turned 18 last July, but is still in high school and is a senior, graduating May 25^th. She still lives in my house though, I have all of her passwords to her myspace account, her yahoo account and everyplace else she goes on the internet. Same goes with my 17 year old son, who lost his laptop and internet privileges 2 months ago because of his activities. My wife and are not beyond going into accounts or computers, checking histories, pulling files and reading through things. We do monitor where and what our children do, even if they are over 18, if you live in my house you live by my rules. I am the parent.

Am I strict, YES, very much so by today's standards. But I know what my children are doing, who they are going with, and when they will be back. I am even known to show up unannounced. Just asked my oldest daughter, who has gone to a football game with a friend, only to look back during the 3^rd quarter and see me sitting 3 or 4 rows back. Spying? Checking up? Hell yes, I am a parent, I am responsible for the safety of my child. Setting rules and guidelines that will help keep them safe. It is my responsibility. No one else's!!!! Tom and myspace are not to blame, if my daughter is writing to a pervert, I am for not monitoring who she writes to, for not talking to her and explaining about perverts and psycho's. It is not Tom's responsibility to raise and guide my child, it is mine. If Tom has children, they are his responsibility, but no one else's are.

Don't get me wrong, and think that there are no sexual predators and perverts on myspace. They are here just like on any internet service. In fact just a few weeks back, our local paper carried an article about a 40 year old pervert who lived about 1.5 hours away and was making woo with a local 13 year old girl on myspace, he drove the 1.5 hour ride up here to meet his 13 year old date, only to find that she was in fact a 35 year old 245 pound 6'4" sheriff's deputy, and was arrested when he drove into our McDonalds for the meeting. So yes there are perverts trying to lure young girls on myspace.

But Tom and Myspace.com have put in all the necessary protections. You can make your profile private, you can make it so that people have to know your last name or email address to request you as a friend, you have to be over 18 to have a public profile, YOU CAN REJECT ANYONE you don't want to add as a friend. All this and many other things Tom has incorporated into this FREE service.

Now I have 970+ friends on my list and a couple hundred readers subscribed to my blog, of course after this article, I am sure my numbers will drop, because many will be pissed off at what I have said. Each and every day I get more friend add requests, and I check out a profile before I add, I want to at least see what you are about. I will add anyone with out judgment, unless you are advertising or wishing me to join web-cam sites or dating sites, as my profile states I am married and I am not looking.

Now my friends list contains a variety of different people, ranging in age for 14 to 77, christian to non-christian, tattooed and pierced, stripper, conservative and liberals. The people under 18 are children of people who know me and know who and what I believe. Like I said, I visit each page of every person who requests a friend add, so I have seen all of your pages, all 970+ of them.

Plus I have visited many other pages. I am not stupid, I know when a 14, 15, 16 year old has lied about their age and is trying to pull off being older than they really are. I have seen many showing scantily clad photo's and advertising web-cam sites trying to make money showing off their nude little bodies. I have seen the bulletins come out, "HOT DATE TONIGHT" and others even more explicit. I have seen the profile names of "XXX-RHONDA-XXX" and "HOT_SLUT", both of which are being used by girls posting ages of 22 but look no more than 15.

People, if you give free reign of the internet, no matter if it is myspace, or yahoo messenger, or tagged or whatever service, if you give unlimited, unmonitored, unrestricted access to your children, they will use it and abuse it. No matter what precautions a site will put in place, your little darlings will find a way around it and this is not the fault of the site. IT IS YOUR FAULT FOR GIVING UNLIMITED ACCESS TO A CHILD!!!!!

For all those fathers and mothers, go take a look at your little princess's page. In fact go look at you little princess, is she under 18? Is she already sporting a belly piercing? Is she already sporting a tribal back tattoo right above the crack of her butt? Does she dress way too old for her age? Has she had more sexual encounters than you have had? Can you name 10 of her friends? Do you even know if she has a myspace page and have you seen it? What was the last conversation you had with her?

To the mother of the 14 year old who got sexually assaulted by another myspace user, I am truly sorry for your daughter, no one should have to go through that. To lay blame on Tom and Myspace.com and try to sue for 30 million dollars is absolutely absurd and a waste of our courts time. The blame is yours and yours alone, your irresponsibility as a mother, your giving free and total access to the internet, is what led to that situation. Your daughter said that the boy lied on his profile stating he was a football player on the school team, your daughter doesn't know who plays for her own school? I am sorry your lack of common sense in parenting is to blame, not Tom and Myspace.com.

To the other mother of the 14 year old girl who used myspace to find older guys to have sex with and drug dealers to buy drugs from, in her town, well I hate to tell you myspace is not to blame on this either. If your little princess was intent on having sex with older guys and doing drugs, she was going to do it, with or with out myspace.

Blame & Responsibility - Just because some kids pick on you, they are not to blame if you decide to pick up a gun, go back to school and kill your classmates, you are, you chose to pick up the gun. Just because you give your little princess free reign on the internet, and she uses it for activities that are not to your liking, the blame is not on the service provider, the blame is yours for giving your little princess free unrestricted access.

Protection and rearing of a child has and will always be the responsibility of the parent. Enough is enough, the time has come that parents grow a pair, stop trying to be friends to their children and start being parents. Learn to say "NO", stop behavior that will place them in harms way, even if it means curbing some self-expression. Parents need to be parents not buddies.

Responsibility for ones actions, stop trying to pass the blame.

Something to think about!!!

Just one man's opinion. As always, put the wind in your hair and keep the sun to your back. Be good and stay safe. Peace, Love and prosperity to all.

Frank WOLF watchdog taking a BITE out of corruption!

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