Blind Date Script for Men---If You Never Want to See Her Again

"So I heard this really awesome and amazing story about you from this guy at work...oh, wait. Wrong girl. Your turn to talk."

"Yeah, I'm going to go to sleep now. Your fault, not mine."

"You know, I really don't care about you life. I just came here to split the tab with somebody, okay?"

"Why don't we order five more pitchers of beer?"

"So, I heard your phone number's written on 47 public restroom stalls in this city. Is that true?"

"I don't want food. I just want beer. Food is for wimps. But it's okay for you to eat---you're a woman."

"Are you a rodeo clown or is your make-up always this tacky because you have poor taste and even poorer morals?"

"That's the ugliest blouse I've ever seen. Please take it off right now. God, when they say blind date, they mean it."

"You know, if you cut your hair any shorter, you'll look like a man. Does that make me gay for dating you?"

"You know, you're almost as hot as your sister but not quite. Could you set me up to go out with her instead?"

"I hate this restaurant, don't you? I hate this food, the furniture, the lighting, the waiter, the napkins..."

"Wow. After I saw your face, I realized how much I really need to go to the bathroom. Like now. Order for me, okay?"

"Are those fake?"

"Is that your real hair color?"

"Do you HAVE to wear those fugly glasses, bracelets, etc.?"

"Your perfume &*#$%@^ stinks."

"So, what kind of panties do you wear? I don't have the patience to wait tonight."

"Nice to meet you, I guess. Too bad you're not prettier."

"Hey, your fashion sense is almost as bad as mine! And you're not as pretty as everyone said you were. What a relief! Let me relax now."

"Oh, I know! To make this conversation 100 times more interesting, let's play show and tell! You'll never guess what I have pierced!"

"Um, do I absolutely have to kiss you good-night?"

"How about we make-out now and bother with the chit-chat tomorrow morning?"