Blood Gnome: A Movie Review

As a sort of "insider" to the world of BDSM, I was pleased with Blood Gnome's portrayal of the lifestyle. And as a fan of B-horror flicks, I was very pleased with the rest of the movie. After seeing the dvd, I couldn't wait to pop it into the player. The cover art prepared me for the look of the monsters, or so I thought. The brief description on the back let me in on the storyline... or so I thought.

The plot does loosely fit the teaser. People are murdered while making whoopie and there is a man who finds himself smack-dab in the middle, trying to sort it out. What they don't tell you is that BDSM is prominently featured. The hero, who is billed as a CSI heavyweight, is actually a bottom-rung photographer. And - disappointingly - the critters don't look like they do on the cover.

Most of the S&M scenes are fairly tame. They're kinky, but not extreme. The fact that there is a BDSM community is mentioned and the little explanation of their behavior (most of it is "show," not "tell") is accurate. Then the film makes a drastic jump to blood play, a fringe activity that is not as widely practiced as John Lechago would have you believe. At least it covers the bases: the necessity for STD testing, its use as part of a larger scene, and its practice among seasoned veterans. Aside from the Evel Knievel leap, I'm impressed. We all know that the film industry likes to mold things to their own standards, including sex, politics and religion.

Vinnie Bilancio is adorable and well-suited to the comic insanity into which his character falls. Ri Walton shines darkly as Elandria, the "bad guy." Her stern look, perfect posture and eerie smile carry the role. But the woman who really stands out in Blood Gnome is Melissa Pursley. She's beautifully suited for the part. Her acting matches her face: fresh and open.

I know what you're waiting to hear about! The gnomes themselves. They're hilarious rubber things that chew, drink blood and disappear. Their "infrared" selves are essentially invisible, but indicated by a simple ghost effect. For most of the film, they're seen through a night shot lens. This makes up for their imperfections. They don't reach the height of ridiculous joy until later, when they are clearly shown destroying things and people.

Unfortunately, there isn't a back story. What are the gnomes? Where do they come from? How did they get mixed up with their mistress? What's up with their mother? If you plan to wait for the answers, pack a lunch. To enjoy the film, just accept that they're gnomes, they're here, and they do what they do.

If you're looking for partial nudity, blood and silly latex gremlins, you're in the right place. As far as B-horror goes, Blood Gnome fits all of the criteria. If you're looking for some interesting factoids, you can find a few here, too. For example, the camera that captures the gnomes and conveniently sees through clothing is not a complete fiction. My husband claims to remember the recall that is mentioned in the film, and the eager hoarding that ensued when the "x-ray" possibility was revealed. (Even Hoax-Slayer has confirmed it!) Sit back with a snack and a soda, watch some blood-soaked kink and learn how to take a picture of a gnome... or an unsuspecting lady friend. What more could you want?

Sources: http://www.hoax-slayer.com/see-thru-lens.html