Bloodsport

How do you get a lifetime of free Karate lessons? Easy, all you have to do is try to rip-off a Kumite sword belonging to karate master Tanaka (Roy Chiao), then get caught. According to this film's beginning, that is what the legendary Frank Dux (Pierre Rafini) did when he was a kid.

Of course, the real Frank Dux probably had to pay for his Karate lessons. This film is a fictitious account of his experience fighting and competing in the allegedly secret and illegal Kumite marshal arts contest held in China, supposedly in the catacombs of an underground building at the back of a dark alley. I shiver at the thought, don't you?

After his sword rip-off attempt, the elder Dux (Jean-Claude Van Damme) trains hard under Tanaka's tutelage. He learns useful skills like how to grab a gold fish out of a pond, and how to do the Chinese splits (spreading his legs completely apart until he looks like a broken wish bone).

As an adult, Frank Dux ends up in the Army. It is not clear whether he was drafted or enlisted. All we know for sure at this point in the film is that Frank wants to compete in the Kumite-where competitors are sometimes killed. Gasp!

The Army won't let him compete. I suppose Frank Dux should have asked about that before he enlisted, but, then again, maybe he was drafted. Anyway, the Army won't let him compete because they are worried about his safety-after all, he might be killed (like that sort of thing never happens in the Army).

So the C.O. assigns a man to watch Frank to make sure he does not try to escape the ever-loving-caring arms of the Army. But Frank is too slick for this man (after all Frank is the star of this movie). Frank takes a shower while the man waits outside. After a long while, the man looks inside the shower and finds Frank missing. Frank must have been buck-naked and AWOL, of course, but we don't see this. The film quickly moves to the next scene.

Fully clothed, Frank meets up with Jackson (Donald Gibb) in Hong Kong. Jackson, a big burly fellow, is also there for the Kumite competition. They become fast friends because, after all, they might have to hurt or kill each other if they are ever matched up in the ring. Besides, they bonded over a video game they played together in an arcade. Frank won the game, of course. Did I mention that he is the star of the movie?

Frank also meets a cute blonde reporter named Janice Kent (Leah Ayres) who's doing a story on the Kumite. Jackson does not appear to be the least bit jealous as Frank's time is divided between him and Janice. When Frank and Jackson finally get serious, they meet up with Victor (Ken Siu). Victor is the inside man who takes Frank and Jackson to the secret location of the Kumite.

Even though the Kumite is an illegal competition, the contestants still have to register before they can compete. Frank tells the Kumite official that he is from the Tanaka Dojo. The official is skeptical and asks Frank to perform the "Dim Mak," which is not to be confused with the "Dim Wit." So Frank obliges him and breaks a brick at the bottom of a stack of bricks with one deft blow!

The officials are impressed! Jackson is impressed. "Whoa!" he says. Chong Li (Bolo Yeung), the reigning Kumite champion, is not impressed and delivers a line right out of Return of the Dragon: "Very good, but brick don't hit back!" I think he meant to say "...the brick doesn't hit back!" That would be grammatically correct, but "...brick don't hit back..." sounds meaner and ornerier. So let's go with it.

At this point in the film, we finally get to see some cool fight scenes between different contestants of varying fighting styles. The background music (by Michael Bishop and Paul Hertzog) is exciting and really pumps up the jam. There is one part that was kind of gross: It involves Chong Li breaking a man's leg-you can see the bone stick out. I give John Chan (special effects) and Janice Miller (makeup) five stars for making it look so real.

The Army of course has not forgotten that Frank is AWOL; so it sends Helmer (Norman Burton) and Rawlins (Forest Whitaker) to try to stop Frank from hurting himself, and return him to the loving-caring safety of the Army. The fact that Helmer and Rawlins are dressed in plain clothes, are out of uniform, and look more like a couple of postal inspectors should not matter to us-this is a very low budget film. We can try to suspend belief a little bit, can't we? Just make sure you have a six-pack before watching this movie.

At one crucial point, Rawlins and Helmer try to hit Frank with taser darts from their taser guns, but Frank is too fast and gets away. How silly it was for Helmer and Rawlins to think that taser darts would be faster than a guy who can grab goldfish.

At the Kumite, Frank is finally matched up with Chong Li (surprise, surprise). Chong Li appears to be winning the match. Frank is basically beaten to a pulp and on the mat for the count. However, even though Chong Li is the bad guy in this film, he is a very good sport. Rather than finish Frank with one last deft blow, Chong Li waits patiently for Frank to recover and finish meditating.

How does the match end? I won't spoil that for you, but I will give you a hint: Jean-Claude Van Damme is the star of the movie.

Directed by Newt Arnold
Runtime: around 2 hrs.
Rated R