Bob & Julie: An Almost Love Story
Me: Hello?
Man: Julie?
Me: There's no Julie here, you have the wrong number.
Friday, 5:57PM. My cell phone rings.
Me: Hello?
Man: Julie?
Me: You called the same number again. Still no Julie here.
Man: Oh. Sorry.
Friday, 5:58PM. My cell phone rings. I let it go to voice mail.
Friday, 5:59PM. My cell phone has a voice mail.
VM: Julie, this is Bob. I stopped by the apartment today but you weren't there. I've been calling you all day. Call me when you get this, okay? I really need to talk to you.
I delete the message.
Saturday, 6:30AM. I check my cell phone. I have 4 missed calls and 2 voice messages. They're all from Bob.
Saturday, 12:47AM. Voice mail from Bob.
Bob on VM: Julie, I been trying to reach you all day. Lishen, you put...you put like 10,000 milesh on my car. My tiresh are dead, man. One hash...hash...hash..a nail. You put nailsh in my tiresh. You owe me tiresh. Call me.
Saturday, 3:13AM. Voice mail from Bob.
Bob on VM: Lishen, Julie, what about the money? I need the money, I'm broke. I been calling all day and you aren't calling me back. Whatsch goin' on? Are we going out or what? I jusht wanna know whatsch goin' on. You put nailsh in my tiresh. Call me.
Saturday, 7:14AM. I call Bob's number. It rings several times.
Lady who answers phone: Hello?
Me: Is this Julie?
Lady: No, can you call back?
Me: No, I can't. A "Bob" has been calling my phone for the past day from this number and leaving messages for a "Julie." There is no Julie here, I've told him twice, and he's still calling. Can you please tell Bob not to call this number anymore?
Lady: Who is Bob? This is a business. Please don't call here again. (She hangs up on me.)
Saturday, 12:14PM. My cell phone rings. It's Bob.
Me: Hello.
Bob: Julie?
Me: Bob, you've been calling my phone and leaving messages here for Julie for the past day. There is no Julie here. Please stop calling me.
Bob: ::silence::
Me: Bob?
Bob: I'm really sorry. really.
Saturday, 12:15PM. My cellphone rings. It's Bob.
Me: Bob! There is no Julie here! Please stop calling me!
Bob: Oh. I'm sorry.
Saturday, 2:37PM. My cellphone rings. It's Bob. I let it go to voicemail. Bob doesn't leave a message.
Saturday, 3:14PM. My cellphone rings. It's Bob.
Me: Hello.
Bob: Julie?
Me: No, Bob. There is no Julie here. I don't even know a Julie. She gave you a wrong number, which is my number. There will never be a Julie here. Please stop calling me.
Bob: Oh.
Today is Sunday, and Bob hasn't called me. He's probably out with that skank, Julie.
Published by Sophie Stillwell
Sophie is a full-time freelance writer available for your many project needs. Contact her or visit her website for more information! View profile
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8 Comments
Post a CommentI'll trade ya my annoying persistent wrong number calls for Bob.
Hahaha! This is the greatest! Sorry you had to suffer through all these calls, but it just makes the greatest story. And that Julie... "She is a hoe, for sho." Only fans of the "40 Year Old Virgin" will understand that quote. ;)
I guess he finally found her - or someone else to cell phone stalk
Good grief. How annoying!
Sophie
Still wanted to date her with nails in his tires? That's pretty desperate.
Poor Bob, he probably needs to get some Enzyte.
LOL! Ah, man that was insane. I feel sorry for Bob :( Are we still going out? lol...
This is hilarious! He's crazy to go back to her. She put nailsh in his tiresh. Though short-lived and unproductive, he had a good thing going with you. Psh. Men.