Bondage is it for You?

Although reliable data is unavailable, the financial success of companies that market bondage equipment testifies to the fact that it is more than fantasy to many; it is plausible that a sizeable proportion of couples have made regular use of bondage in their sexual activities at some point in their relationships. This is especially plausible considering that common household items can be used for play, such as rope for restraint or a padlock for a ball lock.

For the most part, such bondage games end in sex. In contrast, bondage games between more casually acquainted players in the BDSM subculture frequently end in masturbation only, or in some cases include no sexual release at all.

Safety rules followed by couples in a committed relationship are frequently more subjective and trust-based. These differences can lead to culture clash where a couple with a history of bondage games together encounters the BDSM subculture: the couple can't understand the insistence on safewords, while the members of the subculture can't understand the focus on sexual intercourse.

So, what are the commonly used terms and what do they mean? Please note that this list is not all inclusive, but merely an introduction to some of the more commonly used terms.

BDSM - Bondage, Discipline, Sadism, Masochism

SM - Sadism and masochism in which one person dominates another who is considered submissive. A sadist is one who is gratified by inflicting physical or emotional pain on the other person. A masochists, in one who receives pleasure from the physical or emotional pain inflicted by the other partner.

Dominant - This person is the one who gives the orders or direction during SM play. The dominant likes to be in control of others. They are often referred to as the Dom or Domme (female dominant).

Submissive - This person is the one who enjoys getting and following orders from the Dominant. They are often called sub or subs.

D/s - Dominance and submission Top - The top is the person who enjoys being dominant and/or sadistic. People use the word top to indicate the person who enjoys giving the 'sensations' involved in D/s or SM play. Simplistically stated, the person who does the spanking is the top.

Bottom - The bottom enjoys receiving physical sensations from the top. He or she may also be submissive, but this is not always true for every bottom. Simplisticly stated, the bottom is one who gets the spanking.

Switch - A person who enjoys both top and bottom roles, often changing from top to bottom or vice versa depending on the situation and his or her sensual needs.

Play - Erotic activity that includes sadomasochism as well as bondage and discipline.

Bondage - Tying or restraining with ropes, cords, or other material to prevent the bottom from moving about freely.

Discipline - A form of punishment for not obeying the dominant's orders.

Scene - When two or more people get together to enjoy SM play, it is known as a scene.

Toys - Sensual equipment used in SM play such as floggers, collars, whips, chains, clamps, etc.

Training - Conditioning or modifying the sub's behavior. This is undertaken by both the dom and sub.

Sensual play - Erotic activity that focuses on physical sensations and generally does not include pain.

Safe word - This is an agreed-upon word that the sub will use when he or she wants the dom or top to stop or lessen the intensity of the scene.

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