Bondage, Dominance, Submission: Co-Dependency

When in a BDSM or Dominant and submissive relationship, it is so very easy to become co-dependent on your partner. Because of the intense power exchanges and the loss of control for the submissive, occasionally the identity of both the Dominant and submissive can be lost, losing the individual identities that make each unique, which can lead to the ending of the relationship. There are some ways to avoid this very real pitfall of the Dominant/submissive relationship.

First although you may live in the lifestyle 24/7 it is good to take breaks. Take a vacation, visit family, perhaps just make sure you have one day a week that is separate from your partner/spouse. Although it may seem very against the Dominant/submissive lifestyle it really is not. It is actually better for the chemistry of the relationship to make sure to have that time. Also remember just because you are a submissive does not mean your Dominant can tell you to do all the chores, you aren't the maid you are a treasure. For the Dominants it is also not always your responsibility to run the household and finances unless you desire too, you are not the accountant. Sometimes it might be good to just make sure the household pieces are really something done not in the lifestyle. Have a more vanilla time where you pay bills and do laundry.

Another thing that will be helpful in the BDSM lifestyle is have a friend or two that is just your friend. Go out to lunch or dinner with that friend a couple times a month. This will allow you to decompress and remember who you are and the things you enjoy. It is a good idea if your friends knows you are a Dominant or submissive so you can discuss it. However having time when you don't talk about that part of your life at all can also be great.

Pursue your interests! Just because you are a submissive or a Dominant does not mean you can't still pursue who you are separate from them. If you want to belly dance, sing, or be in bowling league do that and have your thing that you love.

Lastly when living the life of a Dominant and submissive remember not to take yourself too seriously. Not because you aren't serious about who you are but because no matter what and who you are being able to laugh at yourself and your mistakes is essential to any BDSM or Vanilla lifestyle.

The Dominant/submissive lifestyle is intense and passionate, which leads to amazing ups and serious downs as well, if you allow it. However very much worth the work you put into the relationship and yourself if you are willing.