Bonnie and Clyde

Ever since Katie was small she has had an affinity for critters. When she was four I discovered her drowning bugs on our front porch under the amused eye of her sister. When asked why, she responded that they needed a bath.

She has collected beetles, grasshoppers, crickets, worms, caterpillars and the like over the years and her love was never sated. She begged incessantly for more critters.

Being the over-indulgent mother that I am, she ended up with sea-monkeys. We were all convinced that they would last a month or so at most. She kept them alive for almost a year.

Finally this spring we found her a little dog, a Chihuahua mix from the local animal shelter. A little mutt as messed up as the rest of us, she fit right in to our little ohana. Then came the goldfish, named Smudge, Mudge and Ludge - all still happily swimming in the ten-gallon aquarium given to us by a family friend aware of Katie's love of all things critter.

This fall I gave in once again, so here came Bugsy and Teddy, her two guinea pigs. Katie happily plays with the pigs, feeds the fish, bathes the dog and does her homework without complaint.

Of course, she is currently being forced to stay with her father, but that has not stopped those who love her from adding to her pet collection. Thus is the story of Bonnie and Clyde.

They are two cockatiels, male and female, residing in this giant custom-made cage sitting in my kitchen. A gift from the only father she has ever known, they are here waiting patiently for her return. Apparently they were to be a surprise gift later this year when my ex-husband decided to throw a wrench into the works, so now they are here with the sole purpose of keeping me occupied until Katie comes home and returns to her position as queen of this domain....

I was surprised to say the least and not quite sure how to respond. I haven't kept birds for decades and cockatiels never but Bonnie and Clyde said it was okay, they would be happy to teach me how to spoil them rotten until Katie comes home.

I must confess they didn't have names when they came here, but watching them climb the walls of their incredibly spacious cage made me think of the term "jailbirds" - and we all know the most famous jailbird pair, don't we?

Clyde loves to eat, in fact he's eating now while his girlfriend Bonnie preens on her perch after several laps around the pen. She flies quite regularly while Clyde is a lover, not a flyer.

Apparently they made arrangements to be my living alarm clocks, for come daylight they are screeching for me to wake up, changing to a happy chirp as soon as I stagger sleepily into view. Their eyes follow me as I sit here keyboarding at the kitchen and doing my daily chores, chirruping to whatever music I happen to play and ensuring that the dog is never bored!

Katie has heard them chirping when she calls, and is looking forward to coming home and seeing her latest critters and trying to teach them how to talk. I am left thinking if only I could teach them how to rob banks, I'd be set!

Well, not really - but could you imagine it? Enter little birdie chirruping "Stick em up!" and "Give me all your dough, dollface!" grabbing a couple hundred dollar bills in their claws before flying out the nearest window and home - definitely small-scale larceny but imagine the local news report!

Local Birds Rob Bank to Feather Nest

Wait! Did Clyde just wink at me as I typed that last line? Hmmm.....