Bonnie & Clyde: A Legal Lunacy Love Story

Once upon a time, long, long ago in November 2007, in a land far, far away called Cleveland, lived a young woman named Nicole Boyd, who we'll call Bonnie, and an even younger man named Roger Dillon, who we'll call Clyde (to protect their identity).

The two were young, free, and impetuous and they spent money very badly and had already amassed thousands of dollars in debt. Bonnie came home one day and exclaimed, "I want a better life!" an all too familiar recitation in young Clyde's humble ears.

Together, they hatched a ruse to borrow money from an armored car company that neither one of them were employed by - void of intentions to repay, of course.

How would they gain entry? They needed a 3^rd party, which they found; an employee whose pass code Clyde used to enter and unload bags and bags of money and checks totaling $7.4 million.

The two stopped off at a quaint and romantic eatery, McDonald's, to gaze longingly into each other's eyes - and dispose of their cell phones. Then they ran off into the sunset to a beautifully appointed chateau-style trailer just beyond the hills where the sun kisses the water's edge - in West Virginia. Alone at last, and not broke anymore. A collective sigh filled the smoke and love-filled trailer bought with the booty from a robbery from Chase Bank earlier that year.

But in December, those nasty shrews at the United States' Federal Bureau of Investigations viciously accosted and arrested all willy nilly the two young lovers. They've been in police custody since December 1^st, held without bond, charged with bank larceny, and conspiracy to transport stolen property across state lines. Who cares about charges?! The two lovers are apart.

Oh, the longing! The yearning! The heart's agony of the separation that only Romeo & Juliette could have known!

Can't they see, those FBI kill-joys, that these two were not violent? Love was their only weapon as they drove away with $7.4 million dollars of other people's money. Love simply could not wait for Bush's economic stimulus plan to go into effect. The thirst of love must always be quenched NOW!

Clyde's attorney pleaded to the magistrate that the evidence was strong, but he had no record of violent outbursts of love and greed. He only robbed that bank out of love for Bonnie.

According to the storybook, "The three have pleaded not guilty. They face up to 25 years in prison and a $250,000 fine if convicted. They have no prior criminal records." Curse red roses and chocolates! Diamonds be damned! Nothing says "I love you madly" like 25 years in prison and a $250,000 fine.