Book Review: Fake, Forgery, Lies, & EBay by Kenneth Walton

This is a review of Fake, Forgery, Lies, & eBay, a book by Kenneth Walton published by Simon Spotlight Entertainment (298 pages, $21.95, ISBN 1416907114).

Anyone who has bought or sold so much as a paper clip on eBay hopes there is no one like Kenneth Walton within a mile of the transaction. Walton is a con man who took advantage of the essentially trustful, self-policing structure of eBay and twisted it into his own felonious cash cow. He has written a book about his experiences titled Fake, Forgery, Lies, & eBay, which raises the question of whether he has found yet another method of profiting from his dishonesty.

Walton's scam was buying discarded paintings for a few dollars from thrift stores, antique marts and garage sales and selling them on eBay with misleading descriptions hinting they might be the work of recognized collectible artists. He drove up the prices and attracted auction interest in these trifles by placing shill bids under assumed names (loopholes since closed by eBay).

For almost two years, Walton made so much money with his illegal system that he quit his job as (take a guess) a corporate attorney. Like a reckless gambler, Walton believed he could push his luck even further, so he forged a Richard Diebenkorn style signature onto an otherwise worthless post-modern painting. He listed the item with a deliberately deceptive description feigning naivety but suggesting authentic provenance. The forgery sold, bolstered by bold nudges of shill bids, for a six figure profit to an overseas collector. The subsequent media attention given to this sale started as a human interest story and evolved into an investigation that proved to be Walton's downfall.

In almost every example of confessional nonfiction, the former wise guy author wants us to like him. Walton is no different. He tries to make himself appealing by describing his physical pangs of remorse, by comparing himself favorably to an uncouth co-conspirator and by reciting the same litany of excuses hauled out by all criminal minds, big or small:
- Everyone was doing it, but I'm the one who got caught;
- Other people were doing far worse things than I did;
- My involvement didn't change the outcome;
- I didn't ask where the merchandise came from;
- I charged less than legitimate sources;
- People wanted what I was selling;
- The buyer should beware;
- Addiction made me do it;
- I'm the victim here.

Although it pleases the federal law enforcers, it doesn't help Walton's attempted image rehabilitation with his readers when he squeals on his accomplices in exchange for lenient sentencing. No honor among thieves, indeed. It apparently doesn't occur to Walton how ridiculous he sounds when he quibbles over some of the wording of his plea bargain. This is no time to start acting like an attorney. "I was angry," he writes, "but had to take the deal on their terms." He gives not a whit of consideration to the victims he bilked with his own non-negotiable, fraudulent terms.

Even after he is caught with his hand in the cookie jar, arrested, charged and banned from eBay, Walton can't resist the marketplace. He does an end-run around his prohibition and continues selling second hand paintings through his cousin's eBay user identification. In deference to his pending sentencing, he refrains from unlawful shilling. Ironically, he finds that he makes as much money on these auctions as he did on the tweaked ones. Walton dismisses this revelation with just five words: "A lesson learned too late." He completely misapplies this lesson when he states that it discredits the prosecution's "theory that shill bidding raised prices to artificial levels."

What is even more chilling is the fact that this book is published by an imprint called Simon Spotlight Entertainment, a division of Simon & Schuster, which is integrated with the Paramount motion picture and television studios as part of the Viacom Entertainment Group. This gives the distinct impression that the parent corporation views this property as potential TV or feature movie fodder. Will Walton be given yet another opportunity to cash in on his crimes?