Boomers and Elder Care

Recent articles about the ingredients in red wine increasing longevity peak the interest of boomers as they search for the elixir that will keep them young and vital. But even without that, people are living longer today then ever before. And the baby boomer generation is the first to have their parents living long into their own senior years. It's not unusual for people in their 60's to be concerned about elder care. Sometimes families can maintain that care at home. And sometimes they need to place their family member in a facility to help them with that care. Once care is turned over to others the quality of that care becomes paramount to them. But the lack of understanding of the aging process often causes loved ones visiting facilities to question that care. More care-giver education would help to ease the concerns of those families.

Some issues arise over and over again. Falls are a major concern of family. People assume that a fall is the result of poor care. But actually it is very possible that a fall occurred as a result of osteoporosis. Brittle bones in the elderly can cause spontaneous breaks. That means bones break as people make simple movements in their beds. As staff attempts to assist them they fall. Then it becomes a question as to whether the break caused the fall or the fall caused the break. Either is possible.

Sometimes it seems as though dressings on wounds are not being changed as often as they should. But as we age our skin becomes very thin and tears and bruises easily. Dressings on wounds need to be applied carefully and can only be changed every few days to prevent further injury. Most likely you see how easily the skin of the elderly looks badly bruised. That's often because of how thin the skin has become. Just a gentle touch can cause a bruise.

One of the most difficult things for family to experience is coming to visit and having their loved one not know who they are. Concern becomes high that they have had a stroke. And while that may be the cause it is just as likely that their ability to remember is being affected by the aging process of the brain - dementia. From one day to the next their ability to recognize you and remember things may vary. Some people do better during the day and experience significant changes in memory in the evening. Some may have trouble getting remembering things in the morning and get better as the day goes by.

Baby boomers are simultaneously meeting their own medical issues and may not be able to be as attentive to the needs of their loved ones as they wish. That's when it becomes crucial that you trust those professionals in whose care you have placed your family member. Asking questions and learning about the challenges of elder care will result in positive, cooperative team effort that will greatly benefit your loved one and help to set your mind at ease about their care when you cannot be around.

It's hard to accept that those who mean so much to us need more care then family can provide. Feelings of guilt and fear make it hard to trust that others will provide that attention and care. Boomers may find they are having trouble eating, or sleeping, or find themselves crying for no apparent reason. They experience a constant vague sense of anxiety or a deeper feeling of depression. And they don't bother to tell anyone or get any help for themselves because their needs just don't seem as important as the needs of their family member. But by ignoring their own health they soon find they can no longer assist in the care of their loved one. Family conflict increases as caregivers needs do not get met. Who do you help first - your teenage children, your grandchildren, or your aging parent? Your own health and needs go unattended. The pressure you feel never ceases.

Boomers need to realize that they can only do so much; that each life is precious and asking for help is ok. If you are using a facility to care for your loved one get to know them and trust them. If you have chosen to keep your loved one home don't be afraid to use a professional sitter service to give yourself some time to get away. Your marriage and your children still need your time. Even if you only hire them to take a few hours to do some things for yourself like going to a movie or the hairdresser, you will handle the challenges of elder care better if you take care of yourself. If the emotional stress of accepting the inevitable becomes too great, seeking out the services of a counselor with experience in grief resolution and elder care could be meaningful to help you cope during this very emotional time.