Booty Grazing

Alice Santos
What happened to days when men use to dress nicely and serenade ladies in the moonlight with his friends playing the guitar in the background. I never got to experience those times in my culture. By the time I was born people started to think up ways of being impersonal. It's sad that my generation is coming out with more and more unromantic ways to court somebody...what am I saying nobody 'courts' anymore. One of the most impersonal ways people use to communicate is through texting. People create and break a relationship with a simple push of a button, without having to see each other. Doesn't that sound great?

I never got into the texting craze back in late grade school and all throughout high school. All I keep thinking about was 'My pesos! I'm wasting my pesos and your just saying hi!?'. Yeah, call me different.

We just keep stepping down the romantic levels to make it easier for everybody. What's next? A remote control that make people fall in love with us? The worst way to pick up someone is known as 'booty grazing'. Silly term, when I first heard of it I thought farmers were having an inter-species erotica moment with their cows.

These days, people communicate through text messages more than they do phone calls, booty calls are no exception. People don't even have the decency to ask someone out in person anymore, and instead punch in a few measly letters and symbols in hopes of getting lucky.

Let me know if this sounds familiar. Booty grazing happens between the hours of 1 to 2 am or anytime before 6am usually on Fridays or Saturdays. You get a text message that very brief like 'what you doing?' or 'you out?' usually someone you barely even know. One thing you might not know is that you're not always the only one on the receiving end. Chances are that he or she didn't just text only you but everyone in their phonebook. That's called booty grazing, texting everyone in your phonebook to see if you'll get lucky with anyone.

Her is a tip for the ladies since booty callers are usually men, aware of the booty graze. Never accept a text message that is booty-call-worthy and at least try to get the guy on the phone for an actual conversation, even if it's brief, to feel out the situation first. Use your judgment, because you definitely don't want to go over to some guy's place and give him your goods, when he didn't even care enough to single you out in the first place.

Published by Alice Santos

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  • Part duh (2)4/28/2011

    ... More later." Camera here, camera there, Patriot Act. Prisons everywhere. Hey, prime time police shows on every channel to keep you company while you hide! Holy propaganda. Winning! Losing.

  • What is the point anyway?4/28/2011

    One in a thousand women might respond. If you send out a thousand booty texts most of them will blacklist your number or feel compelled to explain it to their husband, boyfriend or girlfriend. A million women are hiding out waiting for the socially perfect guy. Comparatively, 10 million women are looking for the perfect girl or a man to harness that will enable them to pursue women. Men are controlling, women are fickle. Marriage is boring, the grass is greener anywhere else but right where you are. Happiness is neither here nor there. It is right where you are, wherever you are. Everyone wants to be rich and famous because the rich get richer and the poor get poorer. Money has become the primary aphrodisiac and has changed the definition of sex completely. Control crush control. Touch no one, look at no one; isolation. Plastic people with thousands of electronic friends. Look at me I'm sexy, your fired. This just in: " Twisted crazy person kills more people, time to hide. Mor

  • Rob Mead6/28/2007

    Funny stuff- I never use text messaging though when a real phone call will do the trick! ;)

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