Borderline Personality Disorder and Compassion

Imagine meeting a burnt victim for the first time. The sight of the scars is pitiful. Loved ones and health care providers ease their sufferings even if the grumblings from the victim are ferocious. It is easy to fathom the psychological trauma that victims endured. The leeway to grieve and heal is given to them generously. Compassion is straightforward for those suffering physically.

Consideration for trauma invisible to the eyes is lacking. Yet, the pain exists. The sufferers of Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) obviously do not look disabled or impaired. Nonetheless, they are in perpetual emotional pain triggering actions that feel like personal assaults. More often, one's need for safety prohibits a loved one of a BPD sufferer to have compassion.

Compassion helps us be tolerant and charitable. Compassion aids us to construct realistic expectations. Compassion allows the caregivers to distinguish their BPD loved one's clinginess and neediness from manipulation although the difficulty in drawing the thin line is apparent. Compassion leads to forgiveness even if the actions of a Borderline are truly manipulative.

Borderlines can be of the opinion that they are cornered. Manipulation may be clearly a learned survival technique for them. Feeling this way, they come out fighting, manipulating and fleeing. Coping in this dysfunctional manner, their survival behaviors turn into a habit. Their loved ones feel hopeless while the BPD sufferers feel alienated and alone.

It takes a fundamental shift to change the perspective of a person loving someone with Borderline Personality Disorder. Falling victim to the Borderline in your life seems a natural result of confusion. It gets more chaotic as days go by until you learn hands-on skills to be calm, deal with a crisis and firmly interrupt loss of boundaries.

In order to handle and nurture someone with Borderline Personality Disorder, you need to have foremost compassion which will come from an understanding of the disorder. You must have the skills set to deal with endless predicaments caused by their BPD behaviors. One must know how to distinguish when your own safety is compromised. There is no excuse to malevolence when it happens.

Conclusion:

Do we blame the loved ones of Borderlines when they quit, ran away and start a new life? Just as the loved ones of Borderline Personality Disorders nurture the BPD victim with compassion which swings the door open for positive long term change, the BPD sufferer must realize that poor choices lead to consequences and accountability. Their loved ones are just as human and need compassion too.