Both Men and Women Batter: Myth or Fact?

National statistics report that in abusive relationships, at least fifteen percent of batterers are women, compared to eighty-five percent being men. Some surveys also report that these numbers are actually higher, claiming that the frequency of violent acts is nearly the same in men and women. However, the lack of physical evidence is often refuted by the argument that men who are abused are reluctant to come forward for fear of being labeled wimps. While there is some truth to these claims, we must look beyond the surface in order to gain a more accurate picture of the dynamics involved in domestic violence.

Likely the most important factor to consider concerning domestic violence is the cultural influence that has enabled the perpetuation of abuse in our society. From the beginning of America's history, absolute authority of male patriarchy made it legal for men to beat their wives. The initiation of equal rights for women began with the women's suffrage movement in the early part of the 20^th century, gaining momentum with the feminist movement in the 1970's. Now in the 21^st century, advocacy efforts for battered women have come along even further in changing the laws that protect them, but wife beatings still continue in epidemic proportions. Experts believe that the cause is rooted in our cultural heritage where the privilege of male dominance has been sanctioned and therefore enforced, often by any means necessary, including violence.

Next we must look at the difference between physical aggression and abuse. By definition domestic violence is a pattern of behavior in any relationship that is used to gain or maintain power and control over an intimate partner: physical, sexual, emotional, economic, or psychological actions or threats of actions that influence another person negatively. Most people, both men and women, have at some time or another lost control of their temper and acted out by using some form of physical aggression whether it was to hit, slap, or throw something across the room. Abuse, however, is not just physical aggression. It is physical aggression with a purpose. That purpose is to control one's intimate partner through fear and intimidation. Tactics may vary in each case, even within each relationship, but injury is almost always involved and fear is the force behind the power.

Now let's look at the impact of violence on men versus women. Truthfully, most anyone can agree that men are generally physically stronger than women. Therefore, backed by research, it stands to reason, that most women are not even physically capable of battering their husbands. The facts remain that much more damage is done by male violence than by female violence. The injuries that women sustain after being abused by their husbands are much more likely to render them in need of medical care and even hospitalization. According to reports from the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, less than one fifth of victims reporting an injury from intimate partner violence ever sought medical treatment following the injury. In the estimated ninety-five percent of cases that were reported, the man was the perpetrator. Approximately one third of female homicide victims reported in police records are killed by an intimate partner. Sixty percent of men killed by their wives were killed as they were assaulting or threatening to injure her. And in seventy to eighty percent of intimate partner homicides, no matter which partner was killed, the man physically abused the woman before the murder. There are no such comparable statistics available proving women to be batterers.

Studies by Neil Jacobson and John Gottman, in their book When Men Batter Women, show that many battered women do become violent, mostly in self-defense. They hit back to protect themselves, but they are the ones who are consistently getting beat up. They say surveys that only total the frequency of violent acts may make women look just as violent, but are not totally accurate. So in conclusion, while there may be exceptions to the rule, we must agree that battering remains predominantly an issue with men and not with women.