Break Up or Stay Together - Which Way Should You Go

Ending a romantic relationship with someone that you love can be devastating. Many times it causes people to go into a state of confusion. They don't know whether they should break up for good, or if they should try to work things out and get back together. The right thing to do will obviously depend on certain factors. What was the reason for breaking up? Was it a long-term relationship? How did the couple get along with each other? The list of questions can go on depending on the people involved. Here, we will go over some basics.

How did the break up come about? People break up for all sorts of reasons. Having an affair is obviously the first one that comes to mind, but regardless of the reason, we need to remember that everybody makes mistakes. If you're the type of person that doesn't forgive people, you need to know that grudges only hurt the people that hold them. So whether or not getting back together with someone who hurt you is an option, you need to forgive them. In any situation where the break came about because of something that happened repeatedly, that relationship should end permanently. Of course this means that the action was given a chance to stop at some point before the break up happened. If it's the first and only time it ever happened, chances are things can be worked out.

How long was the relationship? Usually if something is going on early in a relationship, it will still be going on later in that relationship. This means that no matter how strong feelings are for a person, if you haven't been dating them that long and things aren't going right, things likely aren't going to change later on and that relationship should not continue. Realize that you can do bad by yourself. You don't need someone to drag you down. The same principle applies to some long-term relationships. Sometimes people blind themselves to the bad things about a person, and only pay attention to the good things, in the beginning stages of that relationship. Then later those bad things start to shine through and can no longer be ignored. This kind of relationship should also end permanently because only under unusual circumstances do people change.

How did the couple get along with each other? In cases where there is severe verbal abuse, physical abuse, or mental abuse the relationship should not be worked out. I've learned that it is possible for a person to tone it down, but it really just all depends on how often and for how long a person has been abusing the other. Any long-term cases of this type of abuse won't change enough in a relationship and should end permanently. In any case no physical abuse is acceptable. Many times a couple will get along with each other very well and for a very long time. Then somewhere along the line one person does something to push the other person over the edge. These kinds of relationships can be saved. Counseling is a good way to figure out where the relationship went wrong and help a couple continue with their relationship together.

All cases are different. In any case were two people are in love, questions will need to be answered in order to determine whether or not the two should get back together or go their separate ways after a break up.

Some people may think it is selfish, but it is necessary for person to think about themselves in the long run. In all cases, no matter how severe a break up is, forgiveness is necessary in order to move on, no matter which direction a couple chooses to go.